How to get Married in China… : 2008

8.12.08

Tradition makes comeback as Chinese seek red weddings

Red is the new white in China as more young couples forgo Western wedding gowns and rituals for the richly embroidered, crimson costumes and intricate traditions of the ancient Han way.

The Han ethnic group is the biggest in China, accounting for more than 90 percent of the population.

Yet many of their traditions were relegated to history, especially during the chaos of the Cultural Revolution, when the old ways were seen to have no place in new, Communist China.

The recent economic boom has seen many Chinese clamoring for Western-style luxury goods and lifestyles, but now, local media and wedding organizers say many twentysomething ethnic Hans are looking back to their ancestors for unique nuptials.

'This idea is very popular among young people, especially those born in the 1980s,' said wedding organizer Ren Guanyu, who also runs a traditional Han clothing shop.

'As China becomes more and more integrated into the world, the younger generation needs to have some special cultural characteristics to express themselves, and maintain their difference from others,' she added.

The color red is considered auspicious in China and is the hue of choice at traditional Han weddings, where both the bride and groom wear crimson colored gowns.

Rituals include the couple performing formal bows to heaven, their parents and each other, the casting off of the fan which covers the bride's face, the scattering of auspicious items on the nuptial bed and wishes for a child.

'I have always loved traditional Chinese culture. We discussed it and finally decided to have a Han-style wedding instead of a Western one,' said Li Na, who recently got married the traditional way.

'We are of pure Han ethnicity. So we should have pride in our nation and have a pure Han-style wedding,' added her groom, Wang Churn, who was dressed in the red traditional costume.

Han couples literally tie the knot—the couple drinking tea from cups tied together with a red string—as these are highly symbolic in Han weddings.

According to Chinese lore, a deity who lives on the moon ties a red string around the ankles of a man and a woman who are fated to be husband and wife—therefore no matter how far and long apart they may be, the two will eventually get married.

Some Chinese think these traditional weddings are a great way to keep their cultural heritage alive.

'In the past I have been to several wedding ceremonies where the brides wore the western wedding gowns. But this wedding is really different. This is a way we can pass on the Chinese culture from generation to generation,' said Sao Yin, a 24-year-old guest at a recent Han wedding.

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2.12.08

Blog News: 2008 China Blog Awards Voting Opens

If you find this site helpful or interesting, you can vote for this site by going to http://www.chinalyst.net/node/39149 and clicking on the + sign. Chinalyst has voting for the best English language China blogs every year. Voting for the China Blog Awards 2008 runs from 1 December 2008 to 31 December 2008 and you are allowed to vote once per day.

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30.10.08

Receipt for I-129F

About a month after you have received the I-130 receipt, if you were punctual, you will receive the I-129F receipt, called an I-797 Notice. I received mine today.

If you would like to check the status of your case online, please follow the following steps:

Go to http://www.uscis.gov/portal/site/uscis
On the right hand side, under "Check Case Status" enter your receipt number.

If you wish, you can then choose to receive automatic case status updates to be sent to you via email. My lawyer always recommends this. On the site you can also select your service center and find out approximate times. Currently my wait is approximately 6 months, so hopefully by the end of April, my wife will receive notice for her interview at the American Consulate!

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13.10.08

ADVICE: Personal Update and Advice

I received my I-130 (immigrant spouse visa) receipt on the first of this month. If you are using an immigration attorney as I am, and you receive the receipt rather than your attorney, be sure to fax and mail them a copy immediately. With this receipt they can file the I-129F (the faster K-3 non-immigrant spouse visa) which is the second major step of the visa filing process. You also want a copy of this filing receipt, so if your lawyer receives it, be sure to ask for a copy for your records.

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30.9.08

The Wedding Video!

Here is the video of my wedding. Unlike Western weddings, only a video is taken, as your photos were all taken in advance. Below, I spoke of standard wedding traditions. From the video, you can see that each province and in some cases, each city, will have its own variances on this standard tradition. My wedding was in YuanJiang, HuNan Provice. Not having a Chinese family will also change things, as often only the bride's family is present. If you have any questions after viewing this video, feel free to ask!

29.9.08

Wedding Photos!

When you get married in China, you can expect a full day of taking wedding photos. While in America this would be for an hour or so before the wedding ceremony, these photos will be taken days (or in some cases weeks or months) before the wedding banquet. You can expect to be dresses in many outfits and to be taken to a park to have pictures taken. There, you will likely encounter many other couples having their wedding photos taken too. You will be expected to buy at least one album and probably many very large photographs to be hung up in your home. You can see my wife's and my wedding photos on Facebook at http://www.new.facebook.com/album.php?aid=53206&l=80e1a&id=505257160.

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28.9.08

Local Traditions and Regulations May Vary

It seems that in HuNan Province, there is no need for many of the items I listed as required. The Chinese Consulate does say they are required, so I would still get them all, as the Province you marry in may require them. Better to arrive in China and have too many documents that you do not need than to arrive and be missing documents, delaying the issuance of your marriage certificate. In my case, it was the divorce decree that was not needed, while my wife only needed her I.D. The photo of us together was taken there and affixed to our marriage certificate.

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5.9.08

ADVICE: Communication

Besides phone and emails, a good way to stay in contact with your fiancée and her family in China is by QQ. Learn how to get QQ in English-speaking languages here.

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4.9.08

ADVICE: 5 More Pieces of Advice

She will feed you and feed you, even when you say you are full. The best way to stop this is to do the same to her. Put food in her bowl after she says she is full, and then she will understand she should stop when you are full too. I gained about 10kg in China until I learned this.

That said, you cannot stop her mother, and you should simply eat whatever she gives you until you can get away from the table or convince her that you are done.

If your fianceé uses the phone when you do not think it is appropriate, simply turn off your phone and ask her to turn off the phone at those times. Unless she needs to have it on for work purposes, she will have no problem complying.

Be real. Do not just try to put on a good impression, but be the real you. This is an international relationship, and you should let her know how you really are. After all, the goal is to find someone that you are compatible with. False faces will only cause you misery and heart ache down the line.

If you get sick, you will get a very different treatment than you are used to in the West. Just listen to your wife and do as she says, no matter how much it goes against your Western sensibilities and sense of comfort. Both you and she will be much happier if you do.

3.9.08

ADVICE: 5 Pieces of Advice for Noobs in China

Just a few points of advice for Westerners visiting China.

If you cannot get the hang of the squat toilet, just use the squat while you shower (assuming you are using a typical Chinese bathroom where both are in the same room). Not only will you save paper, but it gives you practice before you have to use one in the wild (a public W.C./toilet) in an emergency situation.

You truly cannot judge a book by its cover. In America and many Western countries, a female wearing transparent and short clothing is often sending a message about her morals. In China, many very moral ladies and even very young girls will wear such clothes just because it is is hot and humid. Do not judge them based on Western sensibilities about modesty.

If you have a Chinese girlfriend or wife, point out what you would like in a store from the outside and then give her the money to go in and buy it after you have passed by. She will get a far better price than you can.

When in China visit the touristy places… but walk about 3 blocks away to see the authentic China. In my experience, people like to see foreigners outside of the tourist traps. Chinese people are friendly and curious about you, and you will get a chance to be a representative of your country and to learn many things that you would not from tourist places.

Always carry your wedding certificate when married. As a waiguoren/laowai (foreigner), there are some places you are not allowed to go. However, with your marriage certificate, you have the same rights to enter many of these places as a Chinese citizen would.

22.7.08

Announce the International Wedding Online

So the bride has her parents pick an auspicious day and everything is ready to go. But how do you let your friends in many countries know what you need? Well as for us, we used Facebook and specifically the application, "WeddingBook" by WedSnap. With it we were able to announce the date and place of the wedding, our online Wedding Registries at Amazon, Cutco, and Target, and also able to invite people — all electronically!

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16.7.08

To wed: For yourself or your parents?

I found the following article from Xinhua interesting, as it shows not only foreigners have a hard time understanding all the Chinese Wedding traditions! :-)

To virtually all Chinese parents, a traditional wedding with a formal banquet as visibly grand as possible is not only an announcement that their children have grown up - but also a way to show dignity.

For most young couples, however, the whole process is boring and tiring - they would rather spend the money on something they want, say travel. Many want a unique wedding just for themselves, not for others.

Achieving that special personal wedding, one that doesn't set you back financially for many years, is like a mission impossible.

The generational conflict over a wedding - the once-in-a-life event - is very complicated indeed.

Struggles, resistance, compromise, capitulation - they're all part of the Chinese marriage scene today.

More at http://news.xinhuanet.com/english/2008-06/29/content_8457061.htm

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29.6.08

Traditional Chinese Wedding

In Chinese society, the wedding reception is known as xǐ-jǐu (喜酒, literally joyful wine), and is far more important than the wedding itself which tends to be a brief civil ceremony. The timing and the characteristics of the reception vary strongly from locale to locale. They are often extremely elaborate and expensive, often costing several years' salary of the groom's family. However, because cash in the form of red envelopes and jewelry (particularly gold) are given as wedding presents, and because the wedding hosts keep very careful track of the cost of the gifts (jewelry is given with a receipt which indicates the actual cost of the gift), the cost of the reception is effectively split among the wedding guests. Wedding receptions also build local community solidarity. As each couple weds, their wedding reception is in effect financed with gifts from the other members of the community with the expectation that the new couple and their family will give gifts in future wedding receptions within the village.

The amount of money contained in the envelope usually ends with an even digit, for instance 88, 168 are both lucky numbers, as odd numbered money gifts are traditionally associated with funerals. At weddings, the amount offered is usually intended to cover the cost of the attendees as well as a goodwill to the newly weds.

Role of the bride and bridegroom

1. Barricade the door
The bridegroom must pick up the bride at her home around noon. The banquet itself starts in the evening.

Upon arriving, the bridegroom's party will be barred by the bride's friends, who will not open the door and "surrender" the bride until they are given hong bao (red envelop of money). This is the occasion of much good-natured haggling before the two parties agree.

2. Serving tea
After the bridegroom enters the bride's house, the newlyweds together will kneel down to serve tea to the bride's parents.

The bride expresses her appreciation for her parents' care, and the bridegroom promises to take good care of their daughter.

3. Sweet soup
Then the couple will eat sweet soup made of lotus seeds (lianzi) and jujubes (hongzao). In Chinese, the combination of lotus seeds and jujubes means "having a son soon."

4. Leave the wealth
When the bride is about to leave her home, she will be carried on the back of her brother, cousin or uncle (a male relative, not her father). This signifies that by joining another family the bride will not take luck and wealth away from her parents' home.

5. Three bows
During the very important wedding ceremony, usually at the banquet, the couple bows three times: first to Heaven and Earth, then to their parents, finally to each other. Then they are really married.

6. Jiao bei jiu (union of wine cups)
The bridegroom and the bride each take a glass of wine and stand facing each other. Then, with their arms intertwined, they drink. This means the marriage has bonded the two tightly together.

7. Toasting and cigarette lighting
Everybody agrees this is the most tiring part of the wedding. The newlyweds must go to each table (of at least 10 people) and toast everyone to thank them for coming. More than one tipsy bride has toppled.

The bride must light cigarettes for all men present, because the word for "light" (yang) in Chinese sounds like the word for "luck." The idea is making it difficult to light, so the bride must keep trying and the guests must repeatedly use the word.

8. Nao dongfang (tease in the bridal chamber)
After the wedding banquet, which usually takes around three hours, the newlywed's relatives and friends crowd into the bridal chamber to tease the couple.

For guests, it is often the most fun, but can be difficult for the bride and bridegroom, especially since they have been drinking. The guests will come up with funny - and sometimes embarrassing - tricks, games or skits that the couple will perform in front of everyone.

23.6.08

Personal Update

Finally, after all the hassles described before, I received my certified divorce decree paperwork back from the Chinese Consulate in Texas. They actually under promise and over deliver, so I have to say that they are much more expedient than their honorable colleagues in Chicago who waited almost 10 days after processing to return my paperwork. Still, a big thank you to all the hard workers at the Chinese Consulate offices! Now I just need to talk to my travel agent on Tuesday and have her find a cheap flight and then take out a loan for the wedding!

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16.6.08

Good News for Chinese Wanting to Visit the United States

Outbound travel from China to the United States is expected to be easier for Chinese tourists, according to officials from the US embassy in China during a webchat with China Daily Wednesday in Beijing.

"As tourism companies are preparing for the increased number of Chinese tourists to the US, there will be a lot more companies that are able to offer Chinese-speaking tour guides," said Darrel Ching, commercial officer with the US embassy.

Ching added that signs in Chinese will be posted not only at entry points but also at tourists' sites which will be helpful for the large number of Chinese visitors.

The first Chinese tour group is set to arrive in US on June 17, as a result of China granting approved destination status to the US to facilitate outbound tourist group travel to the North American country last December.

In order to travel to the US, potential Chinese visitors must apply for a visa, which is considered tough by many Chinese. Nancy Abella, Non-immigrant Visa Section Chief Officer of the US embassy in China, says the number of people getting visas to go to the US is growing every year and that won't be an obstacle.

"Already last year in 2007 the US embassy and consulate in China issued well over 400,000 visas. That was an increase of 17 percent from the previous year. More than four out of five people who apply for visas in China get their visas," Abella said.

Ching adds with the increasing China market, many US destinations are keen to have Chinese tourists. He returned from a travel and tourism show in Las Vegas last week and reported many US destinations expressed wanting to be more active in the China market.

"With the opening of the market, there will be more and more industry players come into the picture and with that will be more products and services available to all consumers," he said.

According to the US Department of Commerce, the numbers of Chinese visitors is forecast to reach 579,000 by 2011.

5.6.08

ADVICE: How do you call internationally to or from China on your cell phone cheaply?

As you probably know, to call China, usually you need to dial the International access code of 001 in America followed by the country code of +86 then your fiancée's full phone number. But this is a very expensive call. Usually $2.00 a minute or more from your mobile phone!

But there is a way to make it cost very little or even free! No computers, downloads, or phone cards necessary. Just dial and talk internationally and pay local rates! How does it work? You give RebTel the phone number of a fiancée in China or any other country, and they give you a local number for them. Save this number on your mobile so you can call your friend whenever you want at the local rate. And the best thing is this: It will appear that your call is from a local number and your fiancée can call that number back to reach you for free!

This will also be a very convenient and inexpensive way for your fiancée to call her family in China once you are married and she is living with you.

4.6.08

ADVICE: How do you get Chinese channels in North America for your spouse?

Once you get your spouse or fiancée to your home country, how are you going to make sure that she can still watch her favorite TV shows? Especially if her mother comes over to help raise your kids while you work! Well there is a inexpensive way to do that in Canada and the USA called KyLin TV. It is an IP TV box that gets great Chinese programming through the Internet!

Best yet, these channels are available in many Chinese dialects such as Mandarin, Cantonese, Taiwanese, Minnan, etc. plus Korean, Japanese, English, French, and Spanish!

Right now (until 14 June 2008) you can get these channels for only $8.88 a month (normally $16.99) and a free converter box. Just be sure to use this link: https://www.kylintv.com/ and this Friends and Family code: NS8B1C to get a free month of service!

Here are just some of the many channels that you can get with more being added monthly:

	Channel: CCTV-4 (CCTV - International Channel Chinese) CCTV-4 specializes in new reports, presenting domestic and international news in a timely and objective manner. It also delivers entertainment, educational, and consulting services.

	Channel: CCTV-9 (CCTV-International Channel English) CCTV-9 reports news and information to its global audience, while delivering other programs including culture, entertainment and documentaries.

	Channel: CCTV-Entertainment (CCTV-Entertainment Channel) CCTV Entertainment Channel has a fantastic range of entertainment programs including TV dramas, music, Chinese opera, Chinese acrobatic, galas and much more.

	Channel: CCTV-Opera (CCTV-Traditional Opera Channel) CCTV Traditional Operas Channel is mainly designed for North American viewers. It focuses on sharing the arts of Chinese traditional opera, developing Chinese culture, and to meet the demands of traditional opera lovers overseas.

	Channel: CCTV-E (CCTV-International Channel-Spanish) CCTV-E emphasizes on news and information. The programs also offer a wide variety of other genres including educational programs, interviews, as well as artistic and recreational shows.

	Channel: CCTV-F (CCTV-International Channel-French) CCTV-F delivers news and other programs including culture, life, and entertainment shows, providing a comprehensive coverage on the latest news and events from China.

	Channel: HTV (Hunan TV) As the top entertainment channel from mainland China, Hunan TV has dynamic TV programs appealing to the Chinese audience.

	Channel: BTV (Beijing TV) Beijing TV focuses primarily on culture and history, as well as fashion, lifestyle and travel. BTV covers information, culture, life, sports, children, technology and entertainment.

	Channel: Dragon TV Dragon TV's programming reflects China's modern urban lifestyle and covers many TV series, entertainment shows, sports and foreign language programs.

	Channel: TVS (Guangdong Southern TV) TVS features attractive programs such as current affairs, cultural exploration and entertainment shows for Cantonese communities in North America who wish to keep in touch with life back in China.

	Channel: CMC (China Movie Channel) China Movie Channel focuses on broadcasting outstanding Chinese films. Its rich movie resources offer an overall impression of China's filming industry.

	Channel: Jiangsu Int'l (Jiangsu International Channel) Jiangsu International Channel aims at offering insightful news of what is happening in Jiangsu with programs including culture, information, entertainment, economy and more.

	Channel: Fujian Straits TV Fujian Straits TV's programs range from Chinese ancient history to splendid culture to beautiful scenery to news and current affairs.

	Channel: ZTV Int'l (Zhejiang International TV) ZTV programs include news, current affairs, economics, and service information. ZTV International is aiming to create programming that reflects Zhejiang's economic and pursue the distinction among its peers.

	Channel: Xiamen Star TV Xiamen TV provides a wide range of programs mainly in Minnan dialect that covers entertainment, culture, arts, and news programs.

	Channel: CYRTV (China Yellow River TV Station) CYRTV targets overseas Chinese in the US and foreigners who are interested about China. Their goal is to promote China, share the culture and build a bridge for cultural exchanges.

	Channel: Cathay TV Programs on Cathay TV are mostly from Mainland China that focus on bringing the latest information from China into North America and Canada. Cathay TV will continue to strengthen the bridge between East and West.

	Channel: Trading Day Trading Day offers programs that keep viewers informed on the latest financial news and stock market changes. Experts will discuss topics on stocks, securities, bonds, financial markets and other investment opportunities.

	Channel: Zhonghe TV Zhonghe TV is a cultural info-news channel that focuses on five types of multi-media markets including movies, TV series, music, traditional opera and entertainment.

	Channel: Kunlun Drama Channel The TV dramas broadcasted on the Kunlun Drama Channel mainly feature genres such as history, war, action and crime. In addition to its routine hit features, the latest limited-viewing TV dramas released on KyLinTV's VOD service are also included as well.

	Channel: Yangtse Drama Channel The TV dramas broadcasted on this channel mainly feature programs revolving around enchanting love stories or family stories. In addition to its routine features, the latest limited-viewing TV dramas released on KyLinTV's VOD service are also included as well.

	Channel: Oriental Education Channel The Oriental Education Channel offers the best educational programs for the overseas Chinese of different age groups who are interested in learning about the Chinese culture. Aiming to promote the cultural exchange between China and America, KyLinTV hopes to provide our subscribers with the best Chinese language educational programs produced in China.

	Channel: Phoenix InfoNews Phoenix InfoNews Channel provides a blend of information and general/financial news to Chinese viewers from a perspective which is global in both content and values.

	Channel: Phoenix North America Phoenix North America Chinese features high quality programming that caters to Chinese communities in North America yearning to stay in touch with what's happening back home.

	Channel: ATV (Asia TV) ATV provides a full range of television entertainment to Chinese communities throughout the United States. This channel broadcasts the best of entertainment and the most up-to-date current events from Hong Kong.

	Channel: Sun TV Sun TV showcases Chinese culture and heritage, offering programs on a variety of topics including history, antiquity and the arts, painting, literature, fashion and the lives of extraordinary Chinese personalities.

	Channel: STAR CHINESE CHANNEL STAR CHINESE CHANNEL is consistently one of the most popular channels in Taiwan. It presents a wide range of Mandarin-language general entertainment programs including talk shows, game shows, contemporary and costume dramas, lifestyle and variety shows.

	Channel: Sky Link TV Sky Link TV offers programs that serve the Chinese speaking population in North America, carrying the most popular TV dramas, entertainment shows, financial talk shows, movies, and many other dynamic programs.

	Channel: Dai-Ai TV Da Ai TV presents the goodness and beauty of humanity to its audience. Various programs are provided including news and cultural series around the clock.

	Channel: BLTV BLTV provides in-depth news coverage, English news and overseas BL news, aiming to bring care and warmth to human beings, recording the true face of this age.

	Channel: Dimo TV (PTS Dimo Digital Channel) PTS Dimo Digital Channel targets both Taiwan and overseas markets. PTS Dimo TV broadcasts programs such as dramas, international news, foreign documentary, and several other programs.

	Channel: Good TV GOOD TV strives to serve all types of family oriented programs to its broad audiences. This channel focuses on delivering educational oriented programs from many Asian countries to its North American audience.

	Channel: IAVC IAVC carries programs from Taiwan's three major TV Networks, TTV, CTV and CTS. IAVC has been taking the lead as the No. 1 Chinese content provider in North America.

	Channel: Sino TV SINO TV offers a wide range of Chinese programming including drama series, movies, variety shows, cooking programs, children programs, and locally produced news and public affair related and informative programs.

	Channel: Sino Vision SinoVision is a Chinese language television program provider serving the Chinese community with locally produced news, and a variety of entertainment programs in Mandarin.

	Channel: LA-18 LA-18 is the leading Asian language TV station in the United States. This channel provides a unique assortment of news, sports, drama, and entertainment programs.

	Channel: Variety Variety is a self-created channel of KyLinTV. With content mainly based on entertainment and the arts, it provides them with a relaxing environment. At the same time, the channel also offers educational programs and important information.

	CHANNEL [V] By incorporating music and variety-show set-ups, Channel [V] has captured the adolescent audience with its innovative programming mix. Other than screening the latest chart-topping music videos...

	STAR CHINESE MOVIES 2 STAR CHINESE MOVIES 2 is a channel you won’t want to miss. Showing the world’s largest contemporary Chinese film library, STAR CHINESE MOVIE 2 showcases the best movies from the golden age of Hong Kong productions from the 1970s to the 1990s. This channel feasts a line-up of box office blockbusters featuring top rated movies stars and directors. Watch you favorite idols such as Jackie Chan, Chow Yun Fat, Jet Li, Stephen Chow and more!

	MASTV MASTV is committed to delivering viewers' quality programming on news and information, finance, home and world events, entertainment, cultural, sports and more.

	HZTV Hwazan TV is a Buddhist platform of a new century. The establishment of Hwazan TV is to accomplish Ven. Master Chin-Kung's ideal and detached thoughts and it uses technology such as satellite and internet to preach Buddha dharma. The mission of Hwazan TV is to spread peace throughout the world.

	UCTV UCTV is a Chinese language Buddhist channel from Taiwan aimed at spreading the teachings of Buddha to the rest of the world. UCTV programming seeks to inspire today's society with Buddhist teachings, increase quality of life and create a unified peaceful society.

	NETV Founded by the Communication Center of the Presbyterian Church in Taiwan, New Eyes Television(NETV) is dedicated to spread the words of Christianity and to serve the public interest to expresses strong care for the common people.

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