How to get Married in China…

Social Security Card finally came!

2011-08-07T23:59:00.000+08:00

So the card finally came. Now we can get her credit built up in the ways I mentioned in the last post. The next major step is getting a job, and citizenship, which is 3 years away. However, there will be more costs, maybe even one tomorrow for our 3rd anniversary!

Green, Social Security, and Credit Cards

2011-07-09T07:02:00.002+08:00

Two days after we received the permanent residence approval letter, we received my wife's green card!

So today we went and applied for her social security card. That required her green card and passport and lots of waiting. After an hour or so we got a receipt saying we will get her card in 2 weeks. So, like with everything else, now we wait!

Once we get her card we will get her a Bank of America Fully Secured VISA credit card to start building up her credit.

Welcome to the United States of America!

2011-07-03T03:21:00.000+08:00

"Welcome to the United States of America!" is how the paper started. My wife interviewed on Friday, June 24, 2011 and her Permanent Residency was approved on Monday, June 27, 2011 and we received it on Thursday, June 30, 2011. the letter states that she should receive her new permanent resident (green) card in 3 weeks. Of course the law requires that she carry it at all times.

Per request, I will post the questions our lawyer told us to practice later this week.

Interview Day!

2011-06-25T07:30:00.000+08:00

So today was the interview day. We got dressed in our "Sunday Best" and headed for the USCIS office in Irving, Texas. Our attorney had an emergency and had to send the other attorney from the Law Offices of Sherin Thawer, P.C., Ms. Mariola Michalska. Interestingly enough she is of a mixes Russian & Polish background like me. Unfortunately that meant she was late. There was some miscommunication on whether we should wait outside or if we could wait inside but just not go upstairs. The tardiness, it appears, is not an issue, as long as your lawyer is with you.

Our lawyer gave the adjudicator an odd look when he came out, and I thought this was bad news. But as we walked in, she whispered to me that he was very nice. Once in the room, our son, Daniel, went to our lawyer, who held him. We all held up our right hands and swore to tell the whole truth and nothing but. The adjudicator had a few questions just confirming the paperwork we had sent in. There was already a I-130 on file from when we filed for herto come over, so the adjudicator said this would be confirming she wasnot a criminal, that we were truly living together, etc.

He asked why it took 2 years from the marriage to apply for the Adjustment of Status and I explained the reasons. He understood and actually said it made it simpler and easier for both us and him, especially with us having a child together. The only document he collected and made a copy of was the original of our son's birth certificate. They asked about my wife ever getting government assistance, and that was the only question not on our list. Otherwise he asked address, how many times my wife had been to America, if she had ever been arrested, her birthday, my prior marriage and divorce, when we got married, if she had ever been deported, used false documents, etc..

The Adjustment of status interview passed, he said the document should be approved tonight, and in about 2 weeks we should get her true green card, showing her new status as a permanent status of the United States of America, but if it does not arrive in 1 month to have our lawyer come in for a status update. He also told us we should not get my wife her Social Security card on her Employment Authorization Card, as it will cause more work for us, having to update with them when we get the green card showing her permanent residency status.

After the appointment, we went to Super-H Mart where my son danced to K-Pop while sitting in the shopping cart, just like he always does there when we are near the karaoke machine. A good day!

Preparing for the interview...

2011-06-11T07:54:00.001+08:00

Our lawyer has had us practice with questions she has sent us and also had us come to the office and practice the questions. My wife and I may be questioned together, or apart. We were instructed to bring our son, and not to enter until our lawyer is there, as she will be able to come in to thge interview with us. She also will have all the documents, so we do not need to bring anything. In 2 weeks we have our interview, and if everything goes well, withing about 2 business days we should get the decision on my wife's permanent residency and 10-year green card. That morning, before the interview, we will go get her social security card. Those that pray, I would ask your prayers for us.

Interview Time!

2011-05-25T07:26:00.000+08:00

Yesterday, we got notice that my wife will interview in less than 1 month! So in June, she should become a permanent resident of the United States of America. 3 years after that, she can apply for Citizenship. We ask your thoughts and prayers as weprepare for this big step ahead, as both of us will be interviewed and we have to take all kinds of documentation. I will add a blog post with the specifics of what we need to take and even later, what questions we are asked.

China's 56 Official Ethinicities

2011-05-20T06:04:00.000+08:00

China is home to 56 minority groups, each with its own unique languages, traditions and cultures. The Han Ethnic Group make up 91.5% of the Chinese population and the remaining 8.5% make up the rest. Many of these groups live in their own communities and many towns and village make up of a single minority group. Visiting China’s ethnic minority groups is a dream of many people around the world. Their colorful clothing, ancient traditions, and incredible festivities are truly unforgettable.

Achang:
Found largely in Yunnan Province, the Achang ethnic minority group is famous for its iron forging abilities. They specialize in producing weapons and farming implements. This group is also known for their rice growing abilities.

Bai:
Known for being very artistic, the Bai ethnic minority group can be found mainly in Yunnan, Guizhou, and Hunan Provinces. They consider the color white to be very important and wear a lot of white on their clothing.

Bulang:
The Bulang ethnic minority group lives in agricultural societies and are good at planting trees. Their culture places high regard on musical abilities and music is a very important part of their festivals.

Baoan:
Located in southwest Gansu Province, the Baoan ethnic minority group is Islam. The majority of the Baoan people make handicrafts and can play traditional woodwind and stringed instruments.

Buyei:
The Buyei ethnic minority group can be found in Guizhou Province. Their brocade and embroidery are exceptional and are quite famous for this ability. They are an agricultural people.

Dai:
Known for being Buddhists, the Dai People can be found mainly in Yunnan Province. They are known for their musical abilities and beautiful traditional clothing.

Dawoer:
A very small minority group, the Dawoer ethnic minority group stress etiquette in their culture. They have a large number of cultural taboos which are unique to their culture.

Deang:
Skilled craftsmen, the Deang ethnic minority group have a very unique tea culture. They are primarily Buddhist and most children at the age of 10 are sent to monasteries for a time.

Dong:
Located on the boarders between Hunan, Hubei, and Guizhou Provinces, the Dong ethnic minority group are famous for their polyphonic choir singing. They are also known throughout China for their Sweet rice and carpentry skills and architectural style.

Dongxiang:
Known for their love of drinking tea, the Dongxiang ethnic minority group members primarily believe in Islam. They are an agricultural people.

Dulong:
A very small minority group, the Dulong ethnic minority group create their own distinctive form of carpets which are extremely beautiful. The group eats two meals a day and believe that there are spirits that control everything.

Elunchun:
Living in Inner Mongolia and Heilongjiang Province, the Elunchun minority group are good at making wares from iron, wood and bone. Their primary food is meat and they are good at hunting.

Ewenke:
Living mostly in the Inner Mongolia Autonomous Region, the Ewenke ethnic minority group are good at singing and dancing. They have wonderful festivals which entail horse racing and wrestling matches.

Gaoshan:
Gaoshan means “High Mountain” in Chinese. The Gaoshan Ethnic minority group are known as being highland dwellers. They live on Taiwan Island and have a fondness for ballads and story telling. In the past, they were head hunters. They have many ceremonies for daily activities.

Gelao:
Located in Guizhou, Guangxi, Yunnan, and Sichuan Provinces, the Gelao ethnic minority group are primarily Taoist. They believe in ancestor worship and are famous for their forging and blacksmithing.

Gin:
Making their living by fishing and farming, the Gin ethnic minority group live primarily in Guangxi Zhuang Autonomous Region. Rice and seafood are their primary food staples.

Han:
Found in virtually every part of China, the Han Chinese have a huge population and are the largest ethnic group in the world.

Hani:
Living primarily in China’s Yunnan Province, the Hani ethnic minority group are polytheists and adore and pray to their ancestors.

Hezhen:
The smallest minority group in China, the Hezhen ethnic minority group live in Heilongjiang Province. They believe in Shamanism and their most powerful totems are the bear and the tiger. Fish is their staple food.

Hui:
Distinguished by their practice of Islam, the Hui ethnic minority group are located primarily in Ningxia, Gansu, Qinghai, and Xinjiang Provinces.

Jingpo:
Located in Yunnan Province, the Jingpo ethnic minority group is known for its carving, painting, embroidering, and weaving. They believe that everything possesses a soul which will never die and give respect to nature and each other.

Jinuo:
Believing in animism, the Jinuo ethnic minority group are famous for their Iron Forging Festival. Their staple foods are rice and corn.

Kazakh:
Lovers of music and dance, the Kazakh ethnic minority group has a variety of unique musical instruments. They believe in Islam and can be found in China’s Xinjiang, Gansu, and Qinghai Provinces.

Korean:
Located within China are millions of descendants of Korean immigrants. They are Chinese, but still follow traditional Korean culture. Most speak both Mandarin Chinese and Korean.

Keerkezi:
Living in Xinjiang Province, the Keerkezi ethnic minority group are known for their abilities in literature, sports, music, and handicrafts. They are very adept at animal husbandry

Lahu:
Regarding black as the most beautiful color, the Lahu ethnic minority group are Buddhist. They are located in China’s Yunnan Province are have a very small population.

Li:
Living primarily in Hainan Island, the Li ethnic minority group is an agricultural society living on corn, rice, and sweet potatoes. They are known for their animal husbandry and handicrafts.

Lisu:
Consisting of more than 58 unique clans, the Lisu ethnic minority group traditionally live high in the mountains of Yunnan and Sichuan Provinces. They have their own unique dances and musical instruments. They have different songs and dances for different occasions.

Luoba:
Making their living by agriculture and hunting, the Luoba ethnic minority group reside in China’s Tibet Province. Yong boys are trained to hunt at an early age.

Man:
Famous for their horse riding, hunting, and archery, the Man ethnic minority group can be found all over China. They culture can be found around the world, including the Qipao (Cheongsam) and Magua (Mandarin Dress).

Maonan:
Living in Guangxi Zhuang Autonomous Region, more than 80% of the Maonan ethnic minority group have the same surname: Tan. Their towns were organized by clan and traditionally marriages were arranged by parents while still children.

Miao:
The Miao ethnic minority group has a fairly large population. They are skilled in handicrafts such as weaving and embroidery, and paper cutting. They can be found in Guizhou, Hunan, Yunnan, Sichuan, Guangxi, Hainan, Guangdong, and Hubei Provinces.

Monba:
Distributed throughout Tibet, the Monba ethnic minority group have a very long history. Their staple foods are corn, rice, and buckwheat. They are known for weaving with bamboo strips and vines.

Mongol:
Known as the minority group that lives on horseback, the Mongols live in Inner Mongolia. Their festivals are particularly lively with horse racing and wrestling. Their staple foods are milk and meat.

Miao:
The Miao ethnic minority group has a fairly large population. They are skilled in handicrafts such as weaving and embroidery, and paper cutting. They can be found in Guizhou, Hunan, Yunnan, Sichuan, Guangxi, Hainan, Guangdong, and Hubei Provinces.

Mulao:
A small minority group living in Guangxi Zhuang Autonomous Region, the Mulao ethnic minority group believe in the spirits of nature. They are known for their blacksmithing and pottery abilities.

Naxi:
Believing in the Dongba Religion, the Naxi people are famous for their music, handicraft, and written language, which is the only hieroglyphic language still in use in the world. They live in Yunnan, Sichuan, and Tibet Provinces.

Nu:
The Nu ethnic minority group are located in the southwest of Yunnan Province. They are known for their love of music and their skill at playing musical instruments.

Pumi:
Believing that their lives are influenced by the gods, the Pumi ethnic minority group are agricultural societies and are quite accomplished at animal husbandry. They live in Sichuan Province.

Qiang:
Living off beef, mutton, chicken, fish, corn, and potatoes, the Qiang ethnic minority group live in Sichuan Province’s Aba Tibetan Autonomous Prefecture.

Russian:
Their ancestors originated in Russia and immigrated to China during the 18th century. The Russian ethnic group mostly live in Xinjiang Uygur Autonomous Region and celebrate Eastern Orthodox Christian holidays such as the Nativity of the Lord (Christmas) and the Lord's Pascha/Resurrection (Easter).

Sala:
Making a living from horticulture and agriculture, the Sala ethnic minority group live in Qinghao, Gansu, and Xinjiang Provinces. Their clothing is very similar to other Muslim groups in China; the Sala people love music and are famous for their ability at the Kouxuan, a metal stringed instrument played only by women.

She:
The largest minority group in China’s Fujian Province, the She ethnic minority group’s staple foods are beans, rice, corn, and potatoes. They believe in ancestor worship and totems.

Shui:
Located in Guizhou Province, the Shui minority group are skilled jewelry and batik cloth making.

Tajike:
Believing in Islam, the Tajike people place great importance on etiquette. They live in China’s Xinjiang Uygur Autonomous Region.

Tataer:
Mainly living in Xinjiang Uygur Autonomous Region, the Tataer group have their own language, and follow Islam. They are dependent on agriculture and animal husbandry.

Tu:
Practicing Animism and Taoism, the Tu people make a living from agriculture, and animal husbandry. They live in China’s Qinghai and Gansu Provinces.

Tajike:
Believing in Islam, the Tajike people place great importance on etiquette. They live in China’s Xinjiang Uygur Autonomous Region.

Tujia:
With a population of over 8 million people, the Tujia ethnic minority group is the 6th largest group in China. They live on the borders of Hunan, Hubei, and Guizhou Provinces. They are known for their singing and song composing.

Uygur:
Believing in Islam and living in Xinjiang Uygur Autonomous Region, the Uygur ethnic minority group make their livelihood from agriculture and fishing. They are known for their foods, which can be found throughout China.

Uzbek:
A Turkic people living in China’s Xinjiang Uygur Autonomous Region, the Uzbek ethnic minority believe in Islam. They live off of animal husbandry and the creating of handicrafts.

Wa:
Living in Yunnan Province, the Wa ethnic minority group live off of agriculture. Some members of the Wa group believe in Buddhism and Christianity.

Xibo:
Living off of animal husbandry and agriculture, the Xibo ethnic minority group are located in Jilin, Liaoning, and Xinjiang Uygur Autonomous Region. Their staple foods are corn, rice, and potatoes.

Yao:
A mountainous people, the Yao group live in the south of China. They are known for their loving of tea and homemade wines.

Yi:
Believing in Islam, the Tajike people place great importance on etiquette. They live in China’s Xinjiang Uygur Autonomous Region.

Yugur:
Living mainly in Gansu Province, the Yugur ethnic minority group live off of stock breeding and believe in Lamaism. They are known for their folk tales and ballads.

Zhuang:
The largest minority group in China, the Zhuang Ethnic minority group live in Guangxi Zhuang Autonomous Region. They love salty and sour dishes. They are known for making sticky rice Zhongzi (dumplings). They love to drink rice wine and oil tea.

One more step closer!

2011-05-14T03:06:00.000+08:00

Yesterday my wife's combo card came, less than 4 months after we applied for it. A combo card is a green card (Employment Authorization Card) and a Advance Parole Card (this allows her to return to America when we go to China or any other country.) This card is only good for one year, but after her adjustment of status is completed, she should get a 10 year card and can start to apply for citizenship 3 years after the adjustment of status is attained. A very happy day for our family!

Differences in Cultural Beauty Standards

2011-05-05T12:19:00.000+08:00

Besides the muscular leg vs straight leg argument, my wife and I have different cultural standards of beauty. Still, I do not look for all the stereotypical American beauty stands. But we often disagree about beauty. For instance the C-Pop group, TWINS. They are made up of Gillian and Charlene. To me, Charlene is much cuter and more beautiful than Gil. But to my wife, and she insists that almost all Chinese people agree, Gil is the standard of beauty. Tell me if you agree or disagree:

FYI, Gil is on the left, and Charlene is on the right/

Next step completed, now wait again...

2011-05-04T23:08:00.001+08:00

Biometrics completed. Now we wait again.

Receipts, Receipts, and Biometrics

2011-04-10T20:46:00.000+08:00

So after we received the last 1-797C receipts, our lawyer sent in the sealed medical exam. After they received that, they sent us a new I-191C, which is an ACS Appointment Notice for her biometrics (fingerprints). We are now one step loser next month when she gets this part done!

Good News Update

2011-03-29T10:24:00.000+08:00

Good news!Today we received our I-797C, Notice of Action for my wife's I-765: Application for Employment Authorization, I-131: Application for Employment Authorization, and the I-485: Application to register Permanent Residence or Adjust Status. We sent it the last Friday of February, 2011, they received it March 1, 2011 and dated the receipts march 23, 2011. Pretty fast turn around for the government!

Humorous History: This is NOT a Chinese Wife! LOL!

2011-03-27T12:04:00.001+08:00

Oh human history, how humorous you are! Click image to enlarge for readability.

Clarifications...

2011-03-01T00:56:00.005+08:00

Your wife will need a new exam beyond the one she had to get her K3 Visa in GuangZhou, China. You can also find a list of USCIS civil surgeons in your area at https://egov.uscis.gov/crisgwi/go?action=offices.type&OfficeLocator.office_type=CIV.
You need both I-797 and I-797c for the I-130 receipt notice
Emails and letter that you exchanged with your wife should prove that you are married to each other . The letters should have content showing love, care and trust that you guys have in each other . Do you have any life insurance, car insurance, bank statements wherein both you and wife are joint holders? Such documents could suffice as well. In absence of either, you will have to get notarized statements by family and friends who were witness to the wedding . They will need to FedEx it to you in case they can’t send it to you via email.
You need your bank statements for last 12 months and Pay stubs for at least the last 60 days.

...and a few more things...

2011-02-24T12:10:00.000+08:00

...and then after you gather all those documents, you will need to gather

I-130 receipt notice
Latest Bank Statements
Proof of wedding apart from photos and marriage cert: like emails, letters exchanged or notarized affidavits from relatives, friends present at wedding ceremony or by both the parties
Latest pay stubs for the last 6 month to one year and employment verification letter
Original and sealed medical exam
6 color photos as per US Visa requirements found at http://travel.state.gov/visa/temp/info/info_1287.html
Cashier’s cheque for $1070.00 made out to the ‘US DEPARTMENT OF HOMELAND SECURITY’

Finally, Starting the Adjustment of Status!

2011-02-23T13:10:00.000+08:00

Moving to a temporary home, finding a "permanent" home, losing a job, etc. all delayed adjusting the status on my wife's K3 visa (the process to get her permanent resident status, green card, travel voucher, social security card, etc.). Now, we have finally started the process. On presidents Day, I was off work, so we made our appointment with our new attorney and she gave us forms to fill out for the G-325As and 485. This lawyer is local, so she will even go to our interviews with us. A much more full-service lawyer than my last attorney (and we are paying for it!)

What you need, is basically everything you ever got before. All the G-325A info, but updated from when you first fill these out years ago when you started the process. For us, that is almost 3 years ago! Then you will need the last 3 years' tax forms including W-2s, any divorce decrees either of you ever had, your marriage certificate, birth certificate for you, her, and any kids you have together, your passports, drivers licences, and any other government identifications you have, hers and your addresses, schools, and places of employment for the last 10 years, proof of ongoing relationship such as pictures, leases and titles with both of your names on it, etc. (and if any of these things are in Chinese, they need to be translated and notarized!).

Then your lawyer has one of her paralegals copy every page of the above and notarize everything copied for you. You probably have over 100 pages! With this, the attorney can get the papers filled out and ready and will call you for signatures.

This is step one of many, and make sure you have the $1070 government fees ready, too!

(to be continued!)

Regular Updates Coming Soon...

2011-02-11T06:52:00.002+08:00

Sorry this blog has not had many posts lately. We have begun the adjustment of status process, however my attorney is having last trimester complications that is making her stop all work, so we are in the process of getting a new attorney and I will start posting all about it soon. The excitement resumes!

"Why Chinese Girlfriends Are Superior" Written by a Chinese Tiger Girlfriend

2011-01-25T22:22:00.000+08:00

A lot of foreign girlfriends I meet wonder how Chinese girlfriends have such doting boyfriends. They wonder about the dynamics of these relationships that produce boyfriends who are attentive, adoring, and even willing to do all household chores. Often, these foreign girlfriends wonder whether they will be able to have such boyfriends too. Well, I can tell you that anyone can be a Chinese girlfriend, if you are able to enforce some basic rules. Here are some of the things my boyfriend is required to do:

carry my purse in public
not complain about carrying my purse in public
text me his coordinates every hour outside of school/work hours
spend the weekend with me (except in special circumstances)
befriend only married female classmates/colleagues
cook exquisite meals
buy me a thoughtful present every month
coax me into forgiving him when he makes a mistake

...

Foreign girlfriends care too much about respecting their boyfriends’ individuality. By contrast, Chinese girlfriends believe that the best way to nurture a relationship is by stripping their boyfriends of individuality, so that existence as a couple – complete with its many rules and expectations — is the only existence these men will know, and be able to survive in.

Click here to read the rest of Christine Tan's truthful parody of Amy Chua's Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother.

China's Rise Doesn't Mean War… …and China Isn't Beating the U.S.

2011-01-19T12:49:00.002+08:00

Thucydides famously attributed the Peloponnesian War to the rise in power of Athens and the fear it created in Sparta. A century ago, Germany's rise and the fear it created in Britain helped cause World War I. Now, it's become a new conventional wisdom in some circles that China's rise and the fear it is creating in the United States -- where recent polls show 60 percent believe the country is in decline -- could doom the 21st century to a similar fate. As scholar John Mearsheimer has put it, China's rise cannot be peaceful.

One should be skeptical about such dire projections. Americans go through cycles of declinism every decade or so, but that tells us more about America's psychology than its power resources. Not only is the United States likely to remain the most powerful country in the first half of this century, but China still has a long way to go to catch up in military, economic, and soft power.

In contrast, Germany had already surpassed Britain in industrial power by 1900, and the kaiser was pursuing an adventurous, globally oriented foreign and military policy that was bound to bring about a clash. But China today has focused its policies primarily on its region and its own economic development. China's "market-Leninist" economic model is attractive in authoritarian countries, but this so-called Beijing Consensus has the opposite effect in most democracies.

And even if China's GDP passes U.S. GDP around 2027 (as Goldman Sachs now projects), the two economies would be equivalent in size, not equal in composition. China would still face massive rural poverty and enormous inequality, and it will begin to encounter demographic problems from the delayed effects of its one-child policy. Moreover, as countries develop, there is a natural tendency for growth rates to slow. By my calculations, if China's annual growth goes down to 6 percent and the U.S. economy grows at 2 percent per year after 2030, China will not equal the United States in per capita income until decades later. So China is a long way from posing the kind of challenge to America that the kaiser's Germany posed to Britain in 1900.

None of this means the dangers of conflict can be completely ruled out in Asia, as China's recent disputes over various contested island chains remind us. But given shared global challenges like financial stability, cybercrime, nuclear proliferation, and climate change, China and the United States also have much to gain from working together. Unfortunately, faulty projections that create hubris among some Chinese and unnecessary fear of decline among some Americans could make it difficult to ensure this future.

Not every power's rise leads to war -- witness America's peaceful overtaking of Britain at the end of the 19th century. So remembering Thucydides's advice, it is important to prevent exaggerated fears from leading to a self-fulfilling prophecy. Or, to paraphrase Franklin D. Roosevelt, we can make ourselves safer by being wary of fear itself.

Joseph S. Nye Jr. is University Distinguished Service Professor at Harvard University and author of The Future of Power.

China is a great power in every sense of the word. It is the most populous country in the world. The Middle Kingdom has weathered the Great Recession better than the West. It is developing a blue-water navy to rival the United States in the Pacific. In 2010, China surpassed Japan as the world's second-largest economy. For many Americans, however, this is not enough. Politicians, commentators, and the public believe China has already supplanted the United States to achieve primacy in world politics. This is not only wrong -- it is dangerously wrong.

According to a November 2009 Pew Research Center survey, 44 percent of Americans believe that China is "the world's leading economic power," compared with 27 percent who name the United States. Elites have fed this mass perception. After a midterm election cycle that featured anti-China ad after anti-China ad, President Barack Obama warned, "Other countries like China aren't standing still, so we can't stand still either." With public perception and political rhetoric like this, it is little wonder that Forbes magazine recently named Chinese President Hu Jintao the world's most powerful individual.

It's time to make a few things clear. If one measures power strictly according to GDP at market exchange rates, then the United States is roughly 250 percent more powerful than China. If one uses a combination of metrics -- as does, for example, the U.S. National Intelligence Council's 2025 project -- then China possesses a little less than half of America's relative power. Even on the financial side, the U.S. still reigns, and, hype notwithstanding, the dollar is not going anywhere as the world's reserve currency. The renminbi could be an alternative in the far future -- but after the 2008 financial crisis, China is loath to open up its capital markets. Even by the less tangible metrics of soft power, the United States still outperforms China handily in new public opinion surveys from the Pacific Rim by the Chicago Council on Global Affairs.

Right now, the United States is vastly more powerful than the People's Republic of China. Anyone telling you otherwise is selling you something.

Why the massive misperception? In part, people are looking at the wrong measures. China has the world's largest currency reserves, leading many to conclude that Beijing now has the ability to dictate terms to the United States and everyone else. But that just ain't so. The "balance of financial terror" constrains China as well as the United States because China needs American consumers at least as much as the United States needs China to buy its debt.

No doubt, China amassed more power while American might ebbed over the last decade, and Beijing is now throwing its weight around. But the United States still has a huge lead. As for China's recent bout of belligerence, it has yielded Beijing little beyond Japan releasing a fishing-boat captain -- while pushing South Asia and the Pacific Rim closer to the United States.

Exaggerating Chinese power has consequences. Inside the Beltway, attitudes about American hegemony have shifted from complacency to panic. Fearful politicians representing scared voters have an incentive to scapegoat or lash out against a rising power -- to the detriment of all. Hysteria about Chinese power also provokes confusion and anger in China as Beijing is being asked to accept a burden it is not yet prepared to shoulder. China, after all, ranks 89th in the 2010 U.N. Human Development Index, just behind Turkmenistan and the Dominican Republic (the United States is fourth). Treating Beijing as more powerful than it is feeds Chinese bravado and insecurity at the same time. That is almost as dangerous a political cocktail as fear and panic.

Daniel W. Drezner, professor of international politics at Tufts University's Fletcher School of Law and Diplomacy, blogs at ForeignPolicy.com.

FUNNY: Why Chinese Mothers Are Superior

2011-01-12T10:40:00.000+08:00

Can a regimen of no playdates, no TV, no computer games and hours of music practice create happy kids? And what happens when they fight back?

A lot of people wonder how Chinese parents raise such stereotypically successful kids. They wonder what these parents do to produce so many math whizzes and music prodigies, what it's like inside the family, and whether they could do it too. Well, I can tell them, because I've done it. Here are some things my daughters, Sophia and Louisa, were never allowed to do:

• attend a sleepover
• have a playdate
• be in a school play
• complain about not being in a school play
• watch TV or play computer games
• choose their own extracurricular activities
• get any grade less than an A
• not be the No. 1 student in every subject except gym and drama
• play any instrument other than the piano or violin
• not play the piano or violin.

I'm using the term "Chinese mother" loosely. I know some Korean, Indian, Jamaican, Irish and Ghanaian parents who qualify too. Conversely, I know some mothers of Chinese heritage, almost always born in the West, who are not Chinese mothers, by choice or otherwise. I'm also using the term "Western parents" loosely. Western parents come in all varieties.

When it comes to parenting, the Chinese seem to produce children who display academic excellence, musical mastery and professional success - or so the stereotype goes.

All the same, even when Western parents think they're being strict, they usually don't come close to being Chinese mothers. For example, my Western friends who consider themselves strict make their children practice their instruments 30 minutes every day. An hour at most. For a Chinese mother, the first hour is the easy part. It's hours two and three that get tough.

Despite our squeamishness about cultural stereotypes, there are tons of studies out there showing marked and quantifiable differences between Chinese and Westerners when it comes to parenting. In one study of 50 Western American mothers and 48 Chinese immigrant mothers, almost 70% of the Western mothers said either that "stressing academic success is not good for children" or that "parents need to foster the idea that learning is fun." By contrast, roughly 0% of the Chinese mothers felt the same way. Instead, the vast majority of the Chinese mothers said that they believe their children can be "the best" students, that "academic achievement reflects successful parenting," and that if children did not excel at school then there was "a problem" and parents "were not doing their job." Other studies indicate that compared to Western parents, Chinese parents spend approximately 10 times as long every day drilling academic activities with their children. By contrast, Western kids are more likely to participate in sports teams.

What Chinese parents understand is that nothing is fun until you're good at it. To get good at anything you have to work, and children on their own never want to work, which is why it is crucial to override their preferences. This often requires fortitude on the part of the parents because the child will resist; things are always hardest at the beginning, which is where Western parents tend to give up. But if done properly, the Chinese strategy produces a virtuous circle. Tenacious practice, practice, practice is crucial for excellence; rote repetition is underrated in America. Once a child starts to excel at something—whether it's math, piano, pitching or ballet—he or she gets praise, admiration and satisfaction. This builds confidence and makes the once not-fun activity fun. This in turn makes it easier for the parent to get the child to work even more.

Chinese parents can get away with things that Western parents can't. Once when I was young—maybe more than once—when I was extremely disrespectful to my mother, my father angrily called me "garbage" in our native Hokkien dialect. It worked really well. I felt terrible and deeply ashamed of what I had done. But it didn't damage my self-esteem or anything like that. I knew exactly how highly he thought of me. I didn't actually think I was worthless or feel like a piece of garbage.

As an adult, I once did the same thing to Sophia, calling her garbage in English when she acted extremely disrespectfully toward me. When I mentioned that I had done this at a dinner party, I was immediately ostracized. One guest named Marcy got so upset she broke down in tears and had to leave early. My friend Susan, the host, tried to rehabilitate me with the remaining guests.

The fact is that Chinese parents can do things that would seem unimaginable—even legally actionable—to Westerners. Chinese mothers can say to their daughters, "Hey fatty—lose some weight." By contrast, Western parents have to tiptoe around the issue, talking in terms of "health" and never ever mentioning the f-word, and their kids still end up in therapy for eating disorders and negative self-image. (I also once heard a Western father toast his adult daughter by calling her "beautiful and incredibly competent." She later told me that made her feel like garbage.)

Chinese parents can order their kids to get straight As. Western parents can only ask their kids to try their best. Chinese parents can say, "You're lazy. All your classmates are getting ahead of you." By contrast, Western parents have to struggle with their own conflicted feelings about achievement, and try to persuade themselves that they're not disappointed about how their kids turned out.

I've thought long and hard about how Chinese parents can get away with what they do. I think there are three big differences between the Chinese and Western parental mind-sets.

First, I've noticed that Western parents are extremely anxious about their children's self-esteem. They worry about how their children will feel if they fail at something, and they constantly try to reassure their children about how good they are notwithstanding a mediocre performance on a test or at a recital. In other words, Western parents are concerned about their children's psyches. Chinese parents aren't. They assume strength, not fragility, and as a result they behave very differently.

For example, if a child comes home with an A-minus on a test, a Western parent will most likely praise the child. The Chinese mother will gasp in horror and ask what went wrong. If the child comes home with a B on the test, some Western parents will still praise the child. Other Western parents will sit their child down and express disapproval, but they will be careful not to make their child feel inadequate or insecure, and they will not call their child "stupid," "worthless" or "a disgrace." Privately, the Western parents may worry that their child does not test well or have aptitude in the subject or that there is something wrong with the curriculum and possibly the whole school. If the child's grades do not improve, they may eventually schedule a meeting with the school principal to challenge the way the subject is being taught or to call into question the teacher's credentials.

If a Chinese child gets a B—which would never happen—there would first be a screaming, hair-tearing explosion. The devastated Chinese mother would then get dozens, maybe hundreds of practice tests and work through them with her child for as long as it takes to get the grade up to an A.

Chinese parents demand perfect grades because they believe that their child can get them. If their child doesn't get them, the Chinese parent assumes it's because the child didn't work hard enough. That's why the solution to substandard performance is always to excoriate, punish and shame the child. The Chinese parent believes that their child will be strong enough to take the shaming and to improve from it. (And when Chinese kids do excel, there is plenty of ego-inflating parental praise lavished in the privacy of the home.)

Second, Chinese parents believe that their kids owe them everything. The reason for this is a little unclear, but it's probably a combination of Confucian filial piety and the fact that the parents have sacrificed and done so much for their children. (And it's true that Chinese mothers get in the trenches, putting in long grueling hours personally tutoring, training, interrogating and spying on their kids.) Anyway, the understanding is that Chinese children must spend their lives repaying their parents by obeying them and making them proud.

By contrast, I don't think most Westerners have the same view of children being permanently indebted to their parents. My husband, Jed, actually has the opposite view. "Children don't choose their parents," he once said to me. "They don't even choose to be born. It's parents who foist life on their kids, so it's the parents' responsibility to provide for them. Kids don't owe their parents anything. Their duty will be to their own kids." This strikes me as a terrible deal for the Western parent.

Third, Chinese parents believe that they know what is best for their children and therefore override all of their children's own desires and preferences. That's why Chinese daughters can't have boyfriends in high school and why Chinese kids can't go to sleepaway camp. It's also why no Chinese kid would ever dare say to their mother, "I got a part in the school play! I'm Villager Number Six. I'll have to stay after school for rehearsal every day from 3:00 to 7:00, and I'll also need a ride on weekends." God help any Chinese kid who tried that one.

Don't get me wrong: It's not that Chinese parents don't care about their children. Just the opposite. They would give up anything for their children. It's just an entirely different parenting model.

Here's a story in favor of coercion, Chinese-style. Lulu was about 7, still playing two instruments, and working on a piano piece called "The Little White Donkey" by the French composer Jacques Ibert. The piece is really cute—you can just imagine a little donkey ambling along a country road with its master—but it's also incredibly difficult for young players because the two hands have to keep schizophrenically different rhythms.

Lulu couldn't do it. We worked on it nonstop for a week, drilling each of her hands separately, over and over. But whenever we tried putting the hands together, one always morphed into the other, and everything fell apart. Finally, the day before her lesson, Lulu announced in exasperation that she was giving up and stomped off.

"Get back to the piano now," I ordered.

"You can't make me."

"Oh yes, I can."

Back at the piano, Lulu made me pay. She punched, thrashed and kicked. She grabbed the music score and tore it to shreds. I taped the score back together and encased it in a plastic shield so that it could never be destroyed again. Then I hauled Lulu's dollhouse to the car and told her I'd donate it to the Salvation Army piece by piece if she didn't have "The Little White Donkey" perfect by the next day. When Lulu said, "I thought you were going to the Salvation Army, why are you still here?" I threatened her with no lunch, no dinner, no Christmas or Hanukkah presents, no birthday parties for two, three, four years. When she still kept playing it wrong, I told her she was purposely working herself into a frenzy because she was secretly afraid she couldn't do it. I told her to stop being lazy, cowardly, self-indulgent and pathetic.

Jed took me aside. He told me to stop insulting Lulu—which I wasn't even doing, I was just motivating her—and that he didn't think threatening Lulu was helpful. Also, he said, maybe Lulu really just couldn't do the technique—perhaps she didn't have the coordination yet—had I considered that possibility?

"You just don't believe in her," I accused.

"That's ridiculous," Jed said scornfully. "Of course I do."

"Sophia could play the piece when she was this age."

"But Lulu and Sophia are different people," Jed pointed out.

"Oh no, not this," I said, rolling my eyes. "Everyone is special in their special own way," I mimicked sarcastically. "Even losers are special in their own special way. Well don't worry, you don't have to lift a finger. I'm willing to put in as long as it takes, and I'm happy to be the one hated. And you can be the one they adore because you make them pancakes and take them to Yankees games."

I rolled up my sleeves and went back to Lulu. I used every weapon and tactic I could think of. We worked right through dinner into the night, and I wouldn't let Lulu get up, not for water, not even to go to the bathroom. The house became a war zone, and I lost my voice yelling, but still there seemed to be only negative progress, and even I began to have doubts.

Then, out of the blue, Lulu did it. Her hands suddenly came together—her right and left hands each doing their own imperturbable thing—just like that.

Lulu realized it the same time I did. I held my breath. She tried it tentatively again. Then she played it more confidently and faster, and still the rhythm held. A moment later, she was beaming.

"Mommy, look—it's easy!" After that, she wanted to play the piece over and over and wouldn't leave the piano. That night, she came to sleep in my bed, and we snuggled and hugged, cracking each other up. When she performed "The Little White Donkey" at a recital a few weeks later, parents came up to me and said, "What a perfect piece for Lulu—it's so spunky and so her."

Even Jed gave me credit for that one. Western parents worry a lot about their children's self-esteem. But as a parent, one of the worst things you can do for your child's self-esteem is to let them give up. On the flip side, there's nothing better for building confidence than learning you can do something you thought you couldn't.

There are all these new books out there portraying Asian mothers as scheming, callous, overdriven people indifferent to their kids' true interests. For their part, many Chinese secretly believe that they care more about their children and are willing to sacrifice much more for them than Westerners, who seem perfectly content to let their children turn out badly. I think it's a misunderstanding on both sides. All decent parents want to do what's best for their children. The Chinese just have a totally different idea of how to do that.

Western parents try to respect their children's individuality, encouraging them to pursue their true passions, supporting their choices, and providing positive reinforcement and a nurturing environment. By contrast, the Chinese believe that the best way to protect their children is by preparing them for the future, letting them see what they're capable of, and arming them with skills, work habits and inner confidence that no one can ever take away.

—Amy Chua is a professor at Yale Law School and author of "Day of Empire" and "World on Fire: How Exporting Free Market Democracy Breeds Ethnic Hatred and Global Instability." This essay is excerpted from "Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother" by Amy Chua, to be published Tuesday by the Penguin Press, a member of Penguin Group (USA) Inc. Copyright © 2011 by Amy Chua.

How to date a girl in China

2010-11-08T21:33:00.000+08:00

So, what if she wants a good Bible in her native language?

2010-10-12T06:45:00.001+08:00

So, my wife decided to become a Christian of her own volition from talking with other Chinese Christians and reading excellent Chinese web sites such as CHRIST the Eternal TAO.

Before she made this decision she was given a English (NIV) and Chinese Union Bible in simplified characters and then when she was Baptized she received a solely Chinese Bible. Besides Simplified and Traditional versions of the Chinese Union Bible, there are ShangDi and Shen versions of the Bible, ShangDi being the most preferred rendering for the name of God.

The thing is, most Chinese Bibles are horrible translations, and not translated from the original Hebrew, Greek, and Aramaic, but translated from poor English translations.

So what is one to do? Well I researched on the web and found a Chinese Bible Version that was praised by Catholics and Protestants alike for being faithful to the original sources. Most reviews said that the other Chinese translations tend to be very vaguely paraphrased in places from the weak English translations.

This version is called the Chinese Studium Biblicum Version of the Holy Bible. Now the only drawbacks are that the version is not readily available, and it is only available in Traditional Chinese Characters. Thankfully my wife can read both simplified and traditional characters. It also may not render God as ShangDi.

So how does one order this Bible? Well after hours searching I found out it can only be ordered by emailing sales@sbofmhk.org in Hong Kong and making a request. However, the Old Testament Only Version for Jews can be bought as a parallel version with Hebrew and English versions as well at Amazon.com.

The Bible costs HK$140.00. The surface postage to the States is HK$5.00. Airmail postage is HK$160.00, plus a charge a handling fee of 10% of the postage. So surface mail is HK$145.50 and airmail is HK$316.00 which currently is US$18.76 or $40.74, respectively. Honestly, not a bad price for a good Bible! (FYI: HK$ is Hong Kong Dollar, US$ is United States Dollar)

To read more about this version of the Bible, read HERE.

To read more about ShangDi, and the historical connections of his worship in China to the Bible read HERE, HERE, and HERE.

Stupid stuff you will have to put up with or argue about...

2010-09-25T23:41:00.003+08:00

For those unaware, on August 27 2010, my son, Daniel ZiJun Stanosheck was born at 3:40am. Here is a picture of him.

Nicholas Colin, YanFei Liu, Daniel ZiJun, and Raven Anastasia STANOSHECK

The very Chinese friends that helped your wife stay sane when she moved to America, may be the source of your insanity after your baby is born. Do not get me wrong, they are very helpful with making foods to help promote breast milk production, healing, etc., but the Chinese superstitions on babies and postpartum mothers will drive you crazy!

For instance, one Chinese lady insisted my wife should take Calcium, which gave my wife and son painful constipation. Thankfully my wife did not abide by no teeth brushing, hair washing, showering, or getting out of bed for a full month. These are based an the water in old China being so bad. But now they think these things will make them look very old and have health problems when they are old.

All these beliefs have been debunked, but the Chinese ladies who are your wife's friends will insist she must do these things, and most Chinese women will listen to her fellow Chinese friends over you. Thankfully, Fei was made to walk in the hospital, and does a little at home, and broke down and brushed her teeth at 1 week, washed her hair at 2 weeks, and showered at 3 weeks. But still, no fans are allowed near her or my son, and both always have to wear a hat.

I just want to warn you men about the tip of the iceberg you will experience if she has your baby here in America. Happy parenting!

How the Arizona Immigration Law Fiasco May Affect You and Your Loved Ones

2010-05-21T00:24:00.001+08:00

See here for how the Arizona Immigration Law fiasco may affect you, your spouse, and your spouse's children, should you venture into anti-immigrant Arizona.

Got a non-immigrant K3 visa for your wife?

2010-04-20T08:33:00.001+08:00

When you apply for a K3 visa for your wife, you also get to apply for an immigrant visa for free. But most likely you will get the K3 (non-immigrant) visa first and thus there is no need to continue the immigrant visa process, as the K3 visa will become an immigrant visa via "Adjustment of Status". Sadly, you will have probably already paid for the later fees for an immigrant visa interview et all, by the time you find out your wife will be getting a K3 visa. Well anyway, one year after you discontinue the immigrant visa process, they will send you a letter telling you that immigrant visas are available, that you must stay in contact with them annually, and that your time to apply for one has expired. You have 1 year to tell them which of the following applies:

Yes, I wish to pursue my immigrant visa application, please send me information on applying for my immigrant visa. I understand I will have to resubmit all required fees and documents in order to continue the immigrant visa process.

No, I do not want to pursue my immigrant visa application for one of the following reasons:

I have adjusted status. (Please send a copy of both sides of your alien registration card.)
I have received an immigrant visa through another petition and am now a permanent resident. (Please send us a copy of both sides of your alien registration card.)
I am no longer interested in immigrating to the U.S.
Other. (lease explain.)

The answer of course is the first if your adjustment of status is not complete, like us. But if you are lucky, one of the top no answers applies and your wife is already a permanent resident.

Just another FYI for what happens in the process.

What if you lose your job? What if she gets pregnant?

2010-04-19T21:01:00.000+08:00

One man I know lost his job so he cannot begin the immigration process to bring his wife to America. Well, the immigration process stalls if you lose your job once she comes to America too. You need all the same documents for the adjustment of status & green card that you gathered to get her a K1 or K3 visa. That is where we currently are. Waiting for me to have worked for 6 months for us to apply for her adjustment of status and green card.

And what if she gets pregnant at this time? Well, she cannot get public services as she is not a citizen or even a permanent citizen yet, so there is a loophole. C-CHIP, known by other names in other states. Thankfully a friend of mine who had married a Chinese woman back in 2006 told me about this. It does not actually cover your wife, but instead covers your unborn child, covering all prenatal visits.

Important Chinese Customs to Know if You will be Having a Family

2010-03-15T22:03:00.000+08:00

The following article is from:

Red Eggs

Red eggs mean birth of a baby. The customs differ in different parts of China. In central China, when a new baby is born, red eggs will be sent to the grandma on the mother's side. From the red eggs, grandma will know the new born baby's gender. If the eggs have a black dot at one end, it means the baby is a boy, the red eggs must be in even number, 6 or 8 eggs, wishing the baby boy will get a wife when he grow up. If the red eggs don't have black dots, the eggs are in odd number, 5 or 7 of them, it means the new baby is a girl, odd number wishes the baby girl will get married in the future.

When the baby is a month old, relatives and friends are invited to have the one-month-old-baby banquet. Gifts or money in red envelopes will be given by the relatives and friends, in return they get red eggs.

Name The Baby

On the third day after the baby's birth, the baby will take a bath, and names will be given to the new born baby. There are two names for the baby, one is a nickname used before going to school, the other is the formal name. The name is very important to the baby, Chinese believe the name will determine the baby's future. Consult the fortune teller and calculate from the birth time of the baby, get the result of which element among the five elements (metal, water, wood, fire, earth) the baby lacks, and add it to the name of the baby.

Baby's 100 Days

100 days after the baby's birth, relatives and friends will send gifts such as clothes, pants, necklace, bracelets for wrists and ankles, tiger shoes, hats for the baby. This is an important day for the baby because 100 days birth celebration represents the wish that the baby will live 100 years, the baby will wear a silver longevity pendant (in Chinese called Longevity Lock) on the neck. The pants will have long fringe on the legs, because the pronunciation of fringe is the same as year in Chinese. And the more fringe the more years.

One Year Old Birthday

On the baby's one year old birthday party, a "Zhua Zhou" (catching one full year of life) ceremony will be held. The baby will take a bath and wear the new clothes and pants given by the grandma on the mother's side. Then the baby will be put on the big table in the family room, which has a book, a calligraphy brush, an abacus, a scale, a pair of scissors, a seal, coins, toys etc on it. What the baby grabs will foretell the future of the baby. If the book or the brush is caught, it means the baby will enjoy reading. If the abacus or the scale or the coin is caught, the baby will be good at doing business. If the seal is caught, the baby will become a politician. If toys are grabbed, the baby will be idle in the future.

Birthday Before 50 Years Old

Kid's birthday in normal family was simple, red egg and longevity noodles are the birthday food. 10-year-old birthday is called " Growing Tail", grandparents from mother's side will give clothes, shoes, hats and rice as gifts. Every 10 year old birthday is a big birthday.

Some area such as Shanxi, Inner Mongolia in China also celebrate the 12-year-old birthday, it's named "opening the lock". A red scarf is tied around the baby's neck after the birth, it's called "cloth lock", and each year another layer of red scarf is added, on the day of 12-year-old birthday, the lock will be removed, symbolizing the kid is no longer a child.

On the 16-year-old birthday, an adult ceremony is held in Fujian province, southern China. The family will go to the temple and offer the God meat and longevity noodles. A banquet is held and gifts are given by friends and relatives.

Nowadays birthday cake is popular at birthday party.

Marriage Customs

Marriage customs vary in the 56 nationalities of China. The traditional Chinese marriage usually has six steps: match-making, engagement, betrothal presents, meeting the bride, three bows, and drinking wedlock wine.

Several days ahead of the wedding day, a new bed is bought and positioned properly. New pillows and quilts with dragon and phoenix patterns are put on the bed. Lotus seeds, red beans, green beans, dates, longans, and money are spread over the bed. Red candles are placed in the room. A paper cut of character "Double Happiness"is taped on the door of the new room. Wedding couplets are put at the front gate of the groom's home. Nobody is allowed to enter the new room until the new couple enters the room on the wedding night.

On the wedding day morning, the groom rides a horse together with a team of people carrying a sedan chair and presents for the bride's parent. They also play musical instruments along the way. The bride, covered by a red veil on her head, is led by her sister or the bridesmaid out of her bedroom. Her father then leads her to the groom. The groom carries the bride on his back and puts her in the sedan chair. Firecrackers are set off on the way to the groom's home.

The bride is led by a senior person from the groom's side out of the sedan chair when arriving at the groom's home. The bride needs to avoid stepping on the threshold. In the family room, the bride and groom perform the three bows ceremony, first bow to the sky and earth, second bow to the ancestor, third bow to groom's parents and then bow to each other. The bride and groom enter the new bedroom.

A wedding banquet will be held after that. The bride will remain in the new bedroom. Only the groom will toast every guest. All the relatives and friends are invited, and money in red envelopes are given to the bride and groom.

After the banquet, the groom enters the candle lit new bedroom and unveils the bride. People also come along and celebrate in the new bedroom. The new couple has some sweet dumplings or sweet soup made from peanuts, dates, lotus seeds and longans, which signifies the wish that they have a new baby soon. Wedlock wine is drunk. When it's time, the door will be closed, people will leave the room but still stay outside and listen to the conversation between the new couple.

Nowadays a sedan chair is replaced by the sedan car, the bride dresses in a wedding gown, and the groom dresses in a suit. The wedding ceremony in the cities has been westernized. The bride and the groom greet the guests in front of the restaurant where the banquet is held, guests give money in red envelopes. Before taking the toast tour around the banquet tables, the bride will change her dress to a Qipao (a traditional Qing style dress). Toasts are made to wish the new couple a long life, eternal love and happiness, and the early birth of a healthy baby and so on.

Senior's Birthday

Senior's birthday celebration is held every 10 years since the 50th birthday. Some places celebrate the celebration a year ahead, because 9 means "longevity" in Chinese culture. The family of the birthday senior will give out a "Longevity Peach" made from flour or rice to relatives and friends. Invitation cards are sent out. The family room will decorated with a gold " longevity " character on the middle wall, along with couplets of longevity, paintings of cranes and pines etc.

On the night before the birthday, red candles are lit, the birthday senior will burn incense and bow to the sky and earth and ancestor, then sit on the first seat in the family room. Children and grandchildren will all bow to the senior, a gesture called " Bow Longevity".

Firecrackers are set off in the birthday morning, and relatives and friends will come and congratulate. However, the birthday senior won't appear and the first seat in the family room is empty. The guests will bow to the empty seat.

The longevity banquet will have eggs, tea and snacks, longevity noodles, wine and delicious dishes. The birthday senior will eat with several other seniors of similar age in a separate room to bring a lot of luck and longevity. Some rich families also will have an opera show after the banquet.

Transitions (for her) Can Be Harder than Expected

2010-01-27T04:27:00.000+08:00

A Chinese spouse moving to America has some huge transitions to make. They need to speak a language other than the one they usually use, they have no friends, and they do not know how to get things they are used to buying. How can you help?

I have found that a local Chinese Church is extremely helpful. Even if she is not a Christian, she will be welcomed and taught about the faith. We found one and my wife has made some great lifetime friends, and through talking to them in her native tongue, she decided to be Baptized.

So whether you, or your wife are Christians, or even if not, our experience is that you will be welcomed, whether you are seeking or not, and you will have found a fount of information so vast and strong that it will help your secular needs, as well as any spiritual needs needing to be quenched. We have gotten great advice on Chinese-speaking doctors, stores with the special foods that a Chinese person may want, and great recipe exchanges, among other things.

So much so that my wife wanted me to blog about this for anyone looking to bring their Chinese spouse abroad.

What dates to return to China with your spouse?

2010-01-19T21:43:00.000+08:00

Once you have brought your Chinese wife to the West, you will have to go back to see her family and friends. But what days are best to do this? Chinese New Year is optimal for the reasons stated below, but it can be hectic.

The period around Chinese New Year is also the time of the largest human migration, when migrant workers in China, as well as overseas Chinese around the world travel home to have reunion dinners with their families on Chinese New Year's Eve. More interurban trips are taken in mainland China in this 40-day period than the total population of China. This period is called Chunyun (春運 or 春运, Pinyin: chūnyùn).

The Chinese New Year celebrations are marked by visits to kin, relatives and friends, a practice known as "new-year visits" (Chinese: 拜年; pinyin: bàinián). New clothes are usually worn to signify a new year.

The biggest event of any Chinese New Year's Eve is the reunion dinner every family will have. A dish consisting of fish will appear on the tables of Chinese families. It is for display for the New Year's Eve dinner. This meal is comparable to Christmas dinner in the West. In northern China, it is customary to make dumplings (jiaozi 饺子) after dinner and have it around midnight. Dumplings symbolize wealth because their shape is like a Chinese tael. By contrast, in the South, it is customary to make a new year cake (Niangao, 年糕) after dinner and send pieces of it as gifts to relatives and friends in the coming days of the new year. Niangao literally means increasingly prosperous year in year out. After the dinner, some families go to local temples, hours before the new year begins to pray for a prosperous new year by lighting the first incense of the year; however in modern practice, many households hold parties and even hold a countdown to the new lunar year. Beginning in the 1980s, the CCTV New Year's Gala was broadcast four hours before the start of the New Year.

The first day is for the welcoming of the deities of the heavens and earth, officially beginning at midnight. Many people, especially Buddhists, abstain from meat consumption on the first day because it is believed that this will ensure longevity for them. Some consider lighting fires and using knives to be bad luck on New Year's Day, so all food to be consumed is cooked the day before. People also abstain from killing animals. Most importantly, the first day of Chinese New Year is a time when families visit the oldest and most senior members of their extended family, usually their parents, grandparents or great-grandparents.

The second day of the Chinese New Year is for married daughters to visit their birth parents. Traditionally, daughters who have been married may not have the opportunity to visit their birth families frequently. On the second day, the Chinese are extra kind to dogs and feed them well as it is believed that the second day is the birthday of all dogs.

Another family dinner is held on the 8th day of the Chinese New Year to celebrate the eve of the birth of the Jade Emperor.

On the 13th day people will eat pure vegetarian food to clean out their stomach due to consuming too much food over the last two weeks.

The fifteenth day of the new year is celebrated as Yuánxiāo jié (元宵节), otherwise known as Chap Goh Mei in Fujian dialect. Rice dumplings Tangyuan (simplified Chinese: 汤圆; traditional Chinese: 湯圓; pinyin: tāngyuán), a sweet glutinous rice ball brewed in a soup, is eaten this day. Candles are lit outside houses as a way to guide wayward spirits home. This day is celebrated as the Lantern Festival, and families walk the street carrying lighted lanterns.
This day often marks the end of the Chinese New Year festivities.

No SSN

2009-12-16T20:51:00.000+08:00

I was told you could apply for the Social security Number without the adjustment of status completed, but when we went to apply, we were told she needed her permanent resident card before she could apply. So just remember that. Lots of people are telling me adjustment of status can be done without the lawyer.

So she's here, now what?

2009-09-11T12:54:00.002+08:00

You cannot relax yet. You need to do the Adjustment of Status, so that she can get a social security number, a green card, and eventually citizenship. You can get the card within 30-90 days, but the rest can take u to a year. You pay the government $1110, and a lawyer just as much to do this, but this part you can do without a lawyer. I am still considering my options, but we are going to go for the SSN on our own first...

Problems on the flight home!

2009-08-25T03:30:00.003+08:00

So, let this be a lesson to all. A Chinese citizen cannot travel from Guangzhou to Taipei on the way to the U.S.A. or any other country. They can do this through Hong Kong, but not Guangzhou. My travel agent did not know this and neither did my travel agent friend in Beijing. So my wife got stuck in the airport at Guangzhou, where they refused to give her the rest of the tickets or let her board the plane. Iwas on the phone for almost 6 hours trying to get her a new flight that took her from Guangzhou to Hong Kong that afternoon, then from Hong Kong to Newark the next day, and from Newark to Denver today. I hope to have some pictures to upload of her arrival, should nothing else go wrong on this trip.

QiXi Festival

2009-08-03T13:52:00.004+08:00

The Qixi Festival (Chinese: 七夕節; pinyin: qī xī jié; literally "The Night of Sevens"), also known as Magpie Festival, falls on the seventh day of the seventh lunar month on the Chinese calendar; thus its name. It also inspired Tanabata in Japan, Chilseok (칠석) in Korea, and That Tich in Vietnam. It is sometimes called Chinese Valentine's Day in recent years.

Young girls traditionally demonstrate their domestic arts, especially melon carving, on this day and make wishes for a good husband. It is also known by the following names:

The Festival to Plead for Skills (乞巧節; qǐ qiǎo jié)
The Seventh Sister's Birthday (七姊誕; qī jiě dàn)
The Night of Skills (巧夕; qiǎo xī)

In 2009, this festival is coming on August 26.

In late summer, the stars Altair and Vega are high in the night sky, and the Chinese tell the following love story, of which there are many variations:

A young cowherd named Niulang (Chinese: 牛郎; pinyin: niú láng; literally "[the] cowherd"), came across seven fairy sisters bathing in a lake. Encouraged by his mischievous companion the ox, he steals their clothes and waits to see what will happen. The fairy sisters elect the youngest and most beautiful sister Zhinü (simplified Chinese: 织女; traditional Chinese: 織女; pinyin: zhī nǚ; literally "[the] weaver girl", who represents the star Vega) to retrieve their clothing. She agrees to do so, but since Niulang has seen her naked, she must agree to his request for marriage. She proves to be a wonderful wife, and Niulang to be a good husband. They lived happily and had two children. But the Goddess of Heaven (in some versions Zhinü's mother) finds out that Zhinü, a fairy girl, has married a mere mortal human. She is furious and orders her to return to Heaven. (In another version, the Goddess forced the weaver fairy back to her former duty of weaving colorful clouds in the sky because she could not do her job while married to Niulang, a mortal.) Down on Earth, Niulang is very upset that his wife is gone. Suddenly, his cow begins to talk, telling him that if he kills him and puts on his hide, he will be able to go up to Heaven to find his wife. Crying bitterly, he killed the cow, put on the skin. Carrying his two children with him, he went off to Heaven to find Zhinü. The Goddess found out that he had come and was very angry. Taking out her hairpin, the Goddess scratched a wide river in the sky to separate the two lovers forever (thus forming the Milky Way, which separates Altair and Vega).

Zhinü must sit forever on one side of the river, sadly weaving on her loom, while Niulang watches her from afar and takes care of their two children (his flanking stars β and γ Aquilae or by their Chinese names Hè Gu 1 and Hè Gu 3).

But once a year all the magpies in the world would take pity on them and fly up into heaven to form a bridge (鵲橋, "the bridge of magpies", Que Qiao) over the star Deneb in the Cygnus constellation so the lovers may be together for a single night, which is the seventh night of the seventh moon.

It is said that if it rains on the night of Qi Xi, it is the tears of Niulang and Zhinü crying at the misery of their life because the magpies will not come on a night that rains.

On Qi Xi, a festoon is placed in the yard and the single or newly married women in the household make an offering to Niulang and Zhinü consisting of fruit, flowers, tea, and facial powder (makeup). After finishing the offering, half of the facial powder is thrown on the roof and the other half divided among the young women. It is believed by doing this the women are bound in beauty with Zhinü.

Another tradition is for young girls to throw a sewing needle into a bowl full of water on the night of Qi Xi as a test of embroidery skills. If the needle floats on top of the water instead of sinking, it is believed to be an indication of the girl's being a skilled embroideress.

Two other days have, or had, romantic associations in China: Valentine's Day on February 14th, borrowed from the West, and Lantern Festival Day, on which an unmarried girl was traditionally permitted to appear in public unescorted and thus be seen by eligible bachelors. The latter no longer has such implications nowadays, however.

Interview

2009-07-15T23:04:00.003+08:00

My wife had her interview yesterday and passed.

Some of the tricks were asking where she was going to America to work. The only acceptable answer is "I am only going to America to be with my husband!"

Also to pass you must interview in Chinese, so when the interviewer started asking questions in Chinese, she wisely answered in English. The interviewer let her know this was the right thing to do.

Her interview lasted about 2 minuites, but she answered everything correctly and had all the paperwork organized, both originals and copies, so on Friday she will get her visa!

Most of the ladies at the consulate, however, failed their interview and many crying Chinese girls could be found outside the consulate.

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Funny Chinese Wife Satire

2009-07-04T06:55:00.001+08:00

Just posting this for laughs: http://www.chinalovematch.net/magazineArticle.aspx?id=30

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Copy your ownership/rental proof!

2009-07-03T07:19:00.003+08:00

My wife just got notice on 1 July 2009 that she needs to be at the interview in GuangZhou on 15 July. The hospital says her exam must be at least 4 full days before the interview, so she has an appointment on 9 July. The appointment is about 800 RMB and the 22 vaccinations cost another 800 RMB, plus 500 USD for the Interview. But the consulate also requests that interviewees also bring copies of the deed or rental contract to your house as well as copies of all your utility bills to prove residency. Worker card if you are not a citizen, and if you are a citizen, a copy of your passport and birth certificate.

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Bad News!

2009-06-03T01:43:00.001+08:00

Ok, here is the bad news straight from the embassy website:

The U.S. Consulate in Guangzhou handles thousands of cases every month. Hence, you can expect five months between the time we receive the applicant's DS-230 part one and OF-169 forms and the time an interview is scheduled.

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Personal Update: Packet Receipt

2009-05-27T06:51:00.001+08:00

My wife received her packet. It only took a week to show up after she received an email response from Guangzhou. Much easier than my lawyer anticipated!

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Personal Update and Packet Advice

2009-05-13T06:47:00.003+08:00

I have returned from China and we filled out all the paperwork requested by the National Visa Center. But this was all for naught, as my lawyer contacted me and told me that my wife's paperwork had been sent, but to the wrong address.

My wife bought the required phone cards (Only available at CITIC Banks in China) and called the American Consulate in Guangzhou, but they were quite useless, so now my lawyer will be calling the consulate and will try to get the packet resent to the correct address!

At this time you need to have a notarized marriage certificate (not the red book), a notarized birth certificate, and a notarized no criminal record certificate. These will be translated in to English by the notary and may cost up to 500 RMB (Chinese Yuan Renminbi) each. She will need to take these to Guangzhou along with your proof of income (The I-864, your bank records for at least 6 months, 3 years of income tax returns with all schedules & documents you filed, 6 months of pay stubs with a letter from your employer saying your job is not temporary and that the pay stubs are correct.) You will also want to have documentation of your meetings (including boarding passes, copies of your visa stamps, dated pictures of the 2 of you together, phone records, etc.).

From I130 to I-864, but First Time to Pay (Again!)

2009-03-05T00:19:00.006+08:00

Now that your I130 and I129 are approved, you or your attorney will get a letter from the National Visa Center in New Hampshire saying it is time to pay again! Read this paper very carefully! You do not fill out any documents yet, that will be coming, a request for a I-864 and a DS-230.

Right now, you will get a bill for $70.00 for the Affadavit of Support (I-864) Fee. You also will get a bill for $400.00 for the Immigrant Visa Application Processing Fee. This is effect is one payment you must make for $470.00. Here is how it breaks down: The Affidavit of Support Fee is $70.00. The Immigrant Visa Fee is $355.00 and the Security Enhancement Fee is $45.00.

Pay these right away so that your I-130 can be sent to the American Consulate in GuangZhou, GuangDong, China. You can pay both of these fees with one Money Order or Cashier's Check. Just be sure to write your name and the Case Number on the check or money order. Personal or Business Checks are NOT allowed!

The NVC's web site is actually very helpful. You may wish to peruse it at http://ImmigrantVisas.State.Gov

You may wish to fill out a sample I-864 and I-134, although you may not be told, you should have both filled out when requested, and your wife will need an original and copy of these forms for her interview.

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Good Chinese Visa News for Americans!

2009-02-21T13:38:00.004+08:00

I just found out from the China Visa Mail Service that the 2 year multiple entry visa can be obtained by spouses of China again. The visa only requires the normal Q1 form and a photocopy of the marriage license. No airline itinerary or invitation letter is needed anymore! I am applying tomorrow!

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Personal Update: I130 Approval Notice Sent

2009-02-20T16:04:00.002+08:00

Not only did I receive my I130 approval for my wife, but I also received notice that her I129F just left the FBI office in New Hampshire and is being sent to the Chinese Consulate in GuangZhou, GuangDong, China now. Coming up next: preparing for the interview!

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Personal Update: I129F Approval Notice Sent

2009-01-29T12:04:00.002+08:00

I just got an email alerting me to this step being completed tonight. Of course the American Consulate in GuangZhou has a 120 day waiting period for visa interviews, but this is just one more hurdle cleared! For those who pray, please keep on praying for us!

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Waiting, Moving, Procedures from Paperwork to Interview to Visa Issuance

2009-01-16T00:37:00.001+08:00

There is a 120 day backlog in Guangzhou for the interview. So this means after the 6 months for paperwork processing, there is another 4 month wait for the interview. Then they mail the visa to her in about two weeks after the interview.

If you or she moves anytime after the paperwork has been sent in, you can and need to change your address at http://www.USCIS.gov.

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What Chinese Girls are Looking for in Dating, Relationships, and Marriage

2009-01-15T10:22:00.004+08:00

Four Must-Read In-Depth Articles from "Middle Kingdom Life":

A Travel 2.0 Chinese Love Story

2009-01-03T10:07:00.002+08:00

I was honored to be interviewed by Winser Zhao of Sino Hotel Reservations' China Travel 2.0. If you would like to read the story about how we met, and about his telling of Fei and I, you can read it at http://www.chinatravel20.com/2009/01/02/china-love-story-fei-and-nik/.

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Tradition makes comeback as Chinese seek red weddings

2008-12-08T08:03:00.003+08:00

Red is the new white in China as more young couples forgo Western wedding gowns and rituals for the richly embroidered, crimson costumes and intricate traditions of the ancient Han way.

The Han ethnic group is the biggest in China, accounting for more than 90 percent of the population.

Yet many of their traditions were relegated to history, especially during the chaos of the Cultural Revolution, when the old ways were seen to have no place in new, Communist China.

The recent economic boom has seen many Chinese clamoring for Western-style luxury goods and lifestyles, but now, local media and wedding organizers say many twentysomething ethnic Hans are looking back to their ancestors for unique nuptials.

'This idea is very popular among young people, especially those born in the 1980s,' said wedding organizer Ren Guanyu, who also runs a traditional Han clothing shop.

'As China becomes more and more integrated into the world, the younger generation needs to have some special cultural characteristics to express themselves, and maintain their difference from others,' she added.

The color red is considered auspicious in China and is the hue of choice at traditional Han weddings, where both the bride and groom wear crimson colored gowns.

Rituals include the couple performing formal bows to heaven, their parents and each other, the casting off of the fan which covers the bride's face, the scattering of auspicious items on the nuptial bed and wishes for a child.

'I have always loved traditional Chinese culture. We discussed it and finally decided to have a Han-style wedding instead of a Western one,' said Li Na, who recently got married the traditional way.

'We are of pure Han ethnicity. So we should have pride in our nation and have a pure Han-style wedding,' added her groom, Wang Churn, who was dressed in the red traditional costume.

Han couples literally tie the knot—the couple drinking tea from cups tied together with a red string—as these are highly symbolic in Han weddings.

According to Chinese lore, a deity who lives on the moon ties a red string around the ankles of a man and a woman who are fated to be husband and wife—therefore no matter how far and long apart they may be, the two will eventually get married.

Some Chinese think these traditional weddings are a great way to keep their cultural heritage alive.

'In the past I have been to several wedding ceremonies where the brides wore the western wedding gowns. But this wedding is really different. This is a way we can pass on the Chinese culture from generation to generation,' said Sao Yin, a 24-year-old guest at a recent Han wedding.

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Blog News: 2008 China Blog Awards Voting Opens

2008-12-02T23:35:00.004+08:00

If you find this site helpful or interesting, you can vote for this site by going to http://www.chinalyst.net/node/39149 and clicking on the + sign. Chinalyst has voting for the best English language China blogs every year. Voting for the China Blog Awards 2008 runs from 1 December 2008 to 31 December 2008 and you are allowed to vote once per day.

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Receipt for I-129F

2008-10-30T10:30:00.001+08:00

About a month after you have received the I-130 receipt, if you were punctual, you will receive the I-129F receipt, called an I-797 Notice. I received mine today.

If you would like to check the status of your case online, please follow the following steps:

Go to http://www.uscis.gov/portal/site/uscis
On the right hand side, under "Check Case Status" enter your receipt number.

If you wish, you can then choose to receive automatic case status updates to be sent to you via email. My lawyer always recommends this. On the site you can also select your service center and find out approximate times. Currently my wait is approximately 6 months, so hopefully by the end of April, my wife will receive notice for her interview at the American Consulate!

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Personal Update and Advice

2008-10-13T14:45:00.001+08:00

I received my I-130 (immigrant spouse visa) receipt on the first of this month. If you are using an immigration attorney as I am, and you receive the receipt rather than your attorney, be sure to fax and mail them a copy immediately. With this receipt they can file the I-129F (the faster K-3 non-immigrant spouse visa) which is the second major step of the visa filing process. You also want a copy of this filing receipt, so if your lawyer receives it, be sure to ask for a copy for your records.

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The Wedding Video!

2008-09-30T00:00:00.001+08:00

Here is the video of my wedding. Unlike Western weddings, only a video is taken, as your photos were all taken in advance. Below, I spoke of standard wedding traditions. From the video, you can see that each province and in some cases, each city, will have its own variances on this standard tradition. My wedding was in YuanJiang, HuNan Provice. Not having a Chinese family will also change things, as often only the bride's family is present. If you have any questions after viewing this video, feel free to ask!

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Wedding Photos!

2008-09-29T11:00:00.001+08:00

When you get married in China, you can expect a full day of taking wedding photos. While in America this would be for an hour or so before the wedding ceremony, these photos will be taken days (or in some cases weeks or months) before the wedding banquet. You can expect to be dresses in many outfits and to be taken to a park to have pictures taken. There, you will likely encounter many other couples having their wedding photos taken too. You will be expected to buy at least one album and probably many very large photographs to be hung up in your home. You can see my wife's and my wedding photos on Facebook at http://www.new.facebook.com/album.php?aid=53206&l=80e1a&id=505257160.

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Local Traditions and Regulations May Vary

2008-09-28T23:59:00.003+08:00

It seems that in HuNan Province, there is no need for many of the items I listed as required. The Chinese Consulate does say they are required, so I would still get them all, as the Province you marry in may require them. Better to arrive in China and have too many documents that you do not need than to arrive and be missing documents, delaying the issuance of your marriage certificate. In my case, it was the divorce decree that was not needed, while my wife only needed her I.D. The photo of us together was taken there and affixed to our marriage certificate.

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Communication

2008-09-05T01:44:00.001+08:00

Besides phone and emails, a good way to stay in contact with your fiancée and her family in China is by QQ. Learn how to get QQ in English-speaking languages here.

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5 More Pieces of Advice

2008-09-04T23:57:00.002+08:00

She will feed you and feed you, even when you say you are full. The best way to stop this is to do the same to her. Put food in her bowl after she says she is full, and then she will understand she should stop when you are full too. I gained about 10kg in China until I learned this.

That said, you cannot stop her mother, and you should simply eat whatever she gives you until you can get away from the table or convince her that you are done.

If your fianceé uses the phone when you do not think it is appropriate, simply turn off your phone and ask her to turn off the phone at those times. Unless she needs to have it on for work purposes, she will have no problem complying.

Be real. Do not just try to put on a good impression, but be the real you. This is an international relationship, and you should let her know how you really are. After all, the goal is to find someone that you are compatible with. False faces will only cause you misery and heart ache down the line.

If you get sick, you will get a very different treatment than you are used to in the West. Just listen to your wife and do as she says, no matter how much it goes against your Western sensibilities and sense of comfort. Both you and she will be much happier if you do.

5 Pieces of Advice for Noobs in China

2008-09-03T02:55:00.006+08:00

Just a few points of advice for Westerners visiting China.

If you cannot get the hang of the squat toilet, just use the squat while you shower (assuming you are using a typical Chinese bathroom where both are in the same room). Not only will you save paper, but it gives you practice before you have to use one in the wild (a public W.C./toilet) in an emergency situation.

You truly cannot judge a book by its cover. In America and many Western countries, a female wearing transparent and short clothing is often sending a message about her morals. In China, many very moral ladies and even very young girls will wear such clothes just because it is is hot and humid. Do not judge them based on Western sensibilities about modesty.

If you have a Chinese girlfriend or wife, point out what you would like in a store from the outside and then give her the money to go in and buy it after you have passed by. She will get a far better price than you can.

When in China visit the touristy places… but walk about 3 blocks away to see the authentic China. In my experience, people like to see foreigners outside of the tourist traps. Chinese people are friendly and curious about you, and you will get a chance to be a representative of your country and to learn many things that you would not from tourist places.

Always carry your wedding certificate when married. As a waiguoren/laowai (foreigner), there are some places you are not allowed to go. However, with your marriage certificate, you have the same rights to enter many of these places as a Chinese citizen would.

Announce the International Wedding Online

2008-07-22T05:25:00.004+08:00

So the bride has her parents pick an auspicious day and everything is ready to go. But how do you let your friends in many countries know what you need? Well as for us, we used Facebook and specifically the application, "WeddingBook" by WedSnap. With it we were able to announce the date and place of the wedding, our online Wedding Registries at Amazon, Cutco, and Target, and also able to invite people — all electronically!

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To wed: For yourself or your parents?

2008-07-16T12:32:00.002+08:00

I found the following article from Xinhua interesting, as it shows not only foreigners have a hard time understanding all the Chinese Wedding traditions! :-)

To virtually all Chinese parents, a traditional wedding with a formal banquet as visibly grand as possible is not only an announcement that their children have grown up - but also a way to show dignity.

For most young couples, however, the whole process is boring and tiring - they would rather spend the money on something they want, say travel. Many want a unique wedding just for themselves, not for others.

Achieving that special personal wedding, one that doesn't set you back financially for many years, is like a mission impossible.

The generational conflict over a wedding - the once-in-a-life event - is very complicated indeed.

Struggles, resistance, compromise, capitulation - they're all part of the Chinese marriage scene today.

More at http://news.xinhuanet.com/english/2008-06/29/content_8457061.htm

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Traditional Chinese Wedding

2008-06-29T13:51:00.002+08:00

In Chinese society, the wedding reception is known as xǐ-jǐu (喜酒, literally joyful wine), and is far more important than the wedding itself which tends to be a brief civil ceremony. The timing and the characteristics of the reception vary strongly from locale to locale. They are often extremely elaborate and expensive, often costing several years' salary of the groom's family. However, because cash in the form of red envelopes and jewelry (particularly gold) are given as wedding presents, and because the wedding hosts keep very careful track of the cost of the gifts (jewelry is given with a receipt which indicates the actual cost of the gift), the cost of the reception is effectively split among the wedding guests. Wedding receptions also build local community solidarity. As each couple weds, their wedding reception is in effect financed with gifts from the other members of the community with the expectation that the new couple and their family will give gifts in future wedding receptions within the village.

The amount of money contained in the envelope usually ends with an even digit, for instance 88, 168 are both lucky numbers, as odd numbered money gifts are traditionally associated with funerals. At weddings, the amount offered is usually intended to cover the cost of the attendees as well as a goodwill to the newly weds.

Role of the bride and bridegroom

1. Barricade the door

The bridegroom must pick up the bride at her home around noon. The banquet itself starts in the evening.

Upon arriving, the bridegroom's party will be barred by the bride's friends, who will not open the door and "surrender" the bride until they are given hong bao (red envelop of money). This is the occasion of much good-natured haggling before the two parties agree.

2. Serving tea

After the bridegroom enters the bride's house, the newlyweds together will kneel down to serve tea to the bride's parents.

The bride expresses her appreciation for her parents' care, and the bridegroom promises to take good care of their daughter.

3. Sweet soup

Then the couple will eat sweet soup made of lotus seeds (lianzi) and jujubes (hongzao). In Chinese, the combination of lotus seeds and jujubes means "having a son soon."

4. Leave the wealth

When the bride is about to leave her home, she will be carried on the back of her brother, cousin or uncle (a male relative, not her father). This signifies that by joining another family the bride will not take luck and wealth away from her parents' home.

5. Three bows

During the very important wedding ceremony, usually at the banquet, the couple bows three times: first to Heaven and Earth, then to their parents, finally to each other. Then they are really married.

6. Jiao bei jiu (union of wine cups)

The bridegroom and the bride each take a glass of wine and stand facing each other. Then, with their arms intertwined, they drink. This means the marriage has bonded the two tightly together.

7. Toasting and cigarette lighting

Everybody agrees this is the most tiring part of the wedding. The newlyweds must go to each table (of at least 10 people) and toast everyone to thank them for coming. More than one tipsy bride has toppled.

The bride must light cigarettes for all men present, because the word for "light" (yang) in Chinese sounds like the word for "luck." The idea is making it difficult to light, so the bride must keep trying and the guests must repeatedly use the word.

8. Nao dongfang (tease in the bridal chamber)

After the wedding banquet, which usually takes around three hours, the newlywed's relatives and friends crowd into the bridal chamber to tease the couple.

For guests, it is often the most fun, but can be difficult for the bride and bridegroom, especially since they have been drinking. The guests will come up with funny - and sometimes embarrassing - tricks, games or skits that the couple will perform in front of everyone.

Personal Update

2008-06-23T11:08:00.004+08:00

Finally, after all the hassles described before, I received my certified divorce decree paperwork back from the Chinese Consulate in Texas. They actually under promise and over deliver, so I have to say that they are much more expedient than their honorable colleagues in Chicago who waited almost 10 days after processing to return my paperwork. Still, a big thank you to all the hard workers at the Chinese Consulate offices! Now I just need to talk to my travel agent on Tuesday and have her find a cheap flight and then take out a loan for the wedding!

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Good News for Chinese Wanting to Visit the United States

2008-06-16T11:40:00.002+08:00

Outbound travel from China to the United States is expected to be easier for Chinese tourists, according to officials from the US embassy in China during a webchat with China Daily Wednesday in Beijing.

"As tourism companies are preparing for the increased number of Chinese tourists to the US, there will be a lot more companies that are able to offer Chinese-speaking tour guides," said Darrel Ching, commercial officer with the US embassy.

Ching added that signs in Chinese will be posted not only at entry points but also at tourists' sites which will be helpful for the large number of Chinese visitors.

The first Chinese tour group is set to arrive in US on June 17, as a result of China granting approved destination status to the US to facilitate outbound tourist group travel to the North American country last December.

In order to travel to the US, potential Chinese visitors must apply for a visa, which is considered tough by many Chinese. Nancy Abella, Non-immigrant Visa Section Chief Officer of the US embassy in China, says the number of people getting visas to go to the US is growing every year and that won't be an obstacle.

"Already last year in 2007 the US embassy and consulate in China issued well over 400,000 visas. That was an increase of 17 percent from the previous year. More than four out of five people who apply for visas in China get their visas," Abella said.

Ching adds with the increasing China market, many US destinations are keen to have Chinese tourists. He returned from a travel and tourism show in Las Vegas last week and reported many US destinations expressed wanting to be more active in the China market.

"With the opening of the market, there will be more and more industry players come into the picture and with that will be more products and services available to all consumers," he said.

According to the US Department of Commerce, the numbers of Chinese visitors is forecast to reach 579,000 by 2011.

How do you call internationally to or from China on your cell phone cheaply?

2008-06-05T00:00:00.001+08:00

As you probably know, to call China, usually you need to dial the International access code of 001 in America followed by the country code of +86 then your fiancée's full phone number. But this is a very expensive call. Usually $2.00 a minute or more from your mobile phone!

But there is a way to make it cost very little or even free! No computers, downloads, or phone cards necessary. Just dial and talk internationally and pay local rates! How does it work? You give RebTel the phone number of a fiancée in China or any other country, and they give you a local number for them. Save this number on your mobile so you can call your friend whenever you want at the local rate. And the best thing is this: It will appear that your call is from a local number and your fiancée can call that number back to reach you for free!

This will also be a very convenient and inexpensive way for your fiancée to call her family in China once you are married and she is living with you.

How do you get Chinese channels in North America for your spouse?

2008-06-04T05:00:00.009+08:00

Once you get your spouse or fiancée to your home country, how are you going to make sure that she can still watch her favorite TV shows? Especially if her mother comes over to help raise your kids while you work! Well there is a inexpensive way to do that in Canada and the USA called KyLin TV. It is an IP TV box that gets great Chinese programming through the Internet!

Best yet, these channels are available in many Chinese dialects such as Mandarin, Cantonese, Taiwanese, Minnan, etc. plus Korean, Japanese, English, French, and Spanish!

Right now (until 14 June 2008) you can get these channels for only $8.88 a month (normally $16.99) and a free converter box. Just be sure to use this link: https://www.kylintv.com/order/dad/LoginDetails.asp and this Friends and Family code: NS8B1C to get a free month of service!

Here are just some of the many channels that you can get:

	Channel: CCTV-4 (CCTV - International Channel Chinese) CCTV-4 specializes in new reports, presenting domestic and international news in a timely and objective manner. It also delivers entertainment, educational, and consulting services.

	Channel: CCTV-9 (CCTV-International Channel English) CCTV-9 reports news and information to its global audience, while delivering other programs including culture, entertainment and documentaries.

	Channel: CCTV-Entertainment (CCTV-Entertainment Channel) CCTV Entertainment Channel has a fantastic range of entertainment programs including TV dramas, music, Chinese opera, Chinese acrobatic, galas and much more.

	Channel: CCTV-Opera (CCTV-Traditional Opera Channel) CCTV Traditional Operas Channel is mainly designed for North American viewers. It focuses on sharing the arts of Chinese traditional opera, developing Chinese culture, and to meet the demands of traditional opera lovers overseas.

	Channel: CCTV-E (CCTV-International Channel-Spanish) CCTV-E emphasizes on news and information. The programs also offer a wide variety of other genres including educational programs, interviews, as well as artistic and recreational shows.

	Channel: CCTV-F (CCTV-International Channel-French) CCTV-F delivers news and other programs including culture, life, and entertainment shows, providing a comprehensive coverage on the latest news and events from China.

	Channel: HTV (Hunan TV) As the top entertainment channel from mainland China, Hunan TV has dynamic TV programs appealing to the Chinese audience.

	Channel: BTV (Beijing TV) Beijing TV focuses primarily on culture and history, as well as fashion, lifestyle and travel. BTV covers information, culture, life, sports, children, technology and entertainment.

	Channel: Dragon TV Dragon TV's programming reflects China's modern urban lifestyle and covers many TV series, entertainment shows, sports and foreign language programs.

	Channel: TVS (Guangdong Southern TV) TVS features attractive programs such as current affairs, cultural exploration and entertainment shows for Cantonese communities in North America who wish to keep in touch with life back in China.

	Channel: CMC (China Movie Channel) China Movie Channel focuses on broadcasting outstanding Chinese films. Its rich movie resources offer an overall impression of China's filming industry.

	Channel: Jiangsu Int'l (Jiangsu International Channel) Jiangsu International Channel aims at offering insightful news of what is happening in Jiangsu with programs including culture, information, entertainment, economy and more.

	Channel: Fujian Straits TV Fujian Straits TV's programs range from Chinese ancient history to splendid culture to beautiful scenery to news and current affairs.

	Channel: ZTV Int'l (Zhejiang International TV) ZTV programs include news, current affairs, economics, and service information. ZTV International is aiming to create programming that reflects Zhejiang's economic and pursue the distinction among its peers.

	Channel: Xiamen Star TV Xiamen TV provides a wide range of programs mainly in Minnan dialect that covers entertainment, culture, arts, and news programs.

	Channel: CYRTV (China Yellow River TV Station) CYRTV targets overseas Chinese in the US and foreigners who are interested about China. Their goal is to promote China, share the culture and build a bridge for cultural exchanges.

	Channel: Cathay TV Programs on Cathay TV are mostly from Mainland China that focus on bringing the latest information from China into North America and Canada. Cathay TV will continue to strengthen the bridge between East and West.

	Channel: Trading Day Trading Day offers programs that keep viewers informed on the latest financial news and stock market changes. Experts will discuss topics on stocks, securities, bonds, financial markets and other investment opportunities.

	Channel: Zhonghe TV Zhonghe TV is a cultural info-news channel that focuses on five types of multi-media markets including movies, TV series, music, traditional opera and entertainment.

	Channel: Kunlun Drama Channel The TV dramas broadcasted on the Kunlun Drama Channel mainly feature genres such as history, war, action and crime. In addition to its routine hit features, the latest limited-viewing TV dramas released on KyLinTV's VOD service are also included as well.

	Channel: Yangtse Drama Channel The TV dramas broadcasted on this channel mainly feature programs revolving around enchanting love stories or family stories. In addition to its routine features, the latest limited-viewing TV dramas released on KyLinTV's VOD service are also included as well.

	Channel: Oriental Education Channel The Oriental Education Channel offers the best educational programs for the overseas Chinese of different age groups who are interested in learning about the Chinese culture. Aiming to promote the cultural exchange between China and America, KyLinTV hopes to provide our subscribers with the best Chinese language educational programs produced in China.

	Channel: Phoenix InfoNews Phoenix InfoNews Channel provides a blend of information and general/financial news to Chinese viewers from a perspective which is global in both content and values.

	Channel: Phoenix North America Phoenix North America Chinese features high quality programming that caters to Chinese communities in North America yearning to stay in touch with what's happening back home.

	Channel: ATV (Asia TV) ATV provides a full range of television entertainment to Chinese communities throughout the United States. This channel broadcasts the best of entertainment and the most up-to-date current events from Hong Kong.

	Channel: Sun TV Sun TV showcases Chinese culture and heritage, offering programs on a variety of topics including history, antiquity and the arts, painting, literature, fashion and the lives of extraordinary Chinese personalities.

	Channel: STAR CHINESE CHANNEL STAR CHINESE CHANNEL is consistently one of the most popular channels in Taiwan. It presents a wide range of Mandarin-language general entertainment programs including talk shows, game shows, contemporary and costume dramas, lifestyle and variety shows.

	Channel: Sky Link TV Sky Link TV offers programs that serve the Chinese speaking population in North America, carrying the most popular TV dramas, entertainment shows, financial talk shows, movies, and many other dynamic programs.

	Channel: Dai-Ai TV Da Ai TV presents the goodness and beauty of humanity to its audience. Various programs are provided including news and cultural series around the clock.

	Channel: BLTV BLTV provides in-depth news coverage, English news and overseas BL news, aiming to bring care and warmth to human beings, recording the true face of this age.

	Channel: Dimo TV (PTS Dimo Digital Channel) PTS Dimo Digital Channel targets both Taiwan and overseas markets. PTS Dimo TV broadcasts programs such as dramas, international news, foreign documentary, and several other programs.

	Channel: Good TV GOOD TV strives to serve all types of family oriented programs to its broad audiences. This channel focuses on delivering educational oriented programs from many Asian countries to its North American audience.

	Channel: IAVC IAVC carries programs from Taiwan's three major TV Networks, TTV, CTV and CTS. IAVC has been taking the lead as the No. 1 Chinese content provider in North America.

	Channel: Sino TV SINO TV offers a wide range of Chinese programming including drama series, movies, variety shows, cooking programs, children programs, and locally produced news and public affair related and informative programs.

	Channel: Sino Vision SinoVision is a Chinese language television program provider serving the Chinese community with locally produced news, and a variety of entertainment programs in Mandarin.

	Channel: LA-18 LA-18 is the leading Asian language TV station in the United States. This channel provides a unique assortment of news, sports, drama, and entertainment programs.

	Channel: Variety Variety is a self-created channel of KyLinTV. With content mainly based on entertainment and the arts, it provides them with a relaxing environment. At the same time, the channel also offers educational programs and important information.

	CHANNEL [V] By incorporating music and variety-show set-ups, Channel [V] has captured the adolescent audience with its innovative programming mix. Other than screening the latest chart-topping music videos...

	STAR CHINESE MOVIES 2 STAR CHINESE MOVIES 2 is a channel you won’t want to miss. Showing the world’s largest contemporary Chinese film library, STAR CHINESE MOVIE 2 showcases the best movies from the golden age of Hong Kong productions from the 1970s to the 1990s. This channel feasts a line-up of box office blockbusters featuring top rated movies stars and directors. Watch you favorite idols such as Jackie Chan, Chow Yun Fat, Jet Li, Stephen Chow and more!

	MASTV MASTV is committed to delivering viewers' quality programming on news and information, finance, home and world events, entertainment, cultural, sports and more.

	HZTV Hwazan TV is a Buddhist platform of a new century. The establishment of Hwazan TV is to accomplish Ven. Master Chin-Kung's ideal and detached thoughts and it uses technology such as satellite and internet to preach Buddha dharma. The mission of Hwazan TV is to spread peace throughout the world.

	UCTV UCTV is a Chinese language Buddhist channel from Taiwan aimed at spreading the teachings of Buddha to the rest of the world. UCTV programming seeks to inspire today's society with Buddhist teachings, increase quality of life and create a unified peaceful society.

	NETV Founded by the Communication Center of the Presbyterian Church in Taiwan, New Eyes Television(NETV) is dedicated to spread the words of Christianity and to serve the public interest to expresses strong care for the common people.

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Always double check the government!

2008-06-03T05:44:00.002+08:00

So I just got my package back from the Chinese Consulate in Texas.

They were unable to process the certification!

Why? Because I did not double-check the State Department of the State of Texas who in their certification, put the wrong county name and county clerk. Since they did not match, the Chinese Consulate could not take certify the documents.

Thankfully the State of Texas was very apologetic and is sending out a new certification for free without making me send them the certified copies of my divorce papers again.

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Call internationally to or from China for the cost of a local call or FREE!

2008-06-03T02:52:00.000+08:00

Sine you need to be calling your fiancée in China, I thought I would add information about the service I use ti make it as cheap as calling a local phone number from the convenience of my mobile phone!

No computers, downloads, or phone cards necessary. Just dial and talk internationally and pay local rates! How does it work? You give us the phone number of a friend in another country, and we give you a local number for them. Save this number on your mobile so you can call your friend whenever you want at the local rate. And the best thing is this: If they call you back from the virtual local number you called from, the call will actually be free for you! This works to and from almost any country in the world!

Step Four: Documents your lawyer will need for a K-1 or K-3 Visa for your spouse

2008-06-02T21:23:00.002+08:00

1. FORMS NEEDED:

The forms you will need are:

2 (4 for K-3) Copies of you and your spouse's (and any foreign children) birth certificate, both front and back
2 Copies of any naturalization papers (If Applicable)
2 Copies of marriage certificate
2 Copies of you and your spouse's divorce/death decree(s) ( If Applicable)
2 passport sized pictures for you and spouse(Specifications attached)
3-5 Pictures of you together with place and date written on back on photostock paper and regular photo size
Any evidence of relationship (10-25 pictures, e-mails, etc)

The forms they will need original signatures and hard copies from you are:

I129F
130
325A
G28

The forms they will need original signatures and hard copies from your spouse are:

325A

2. TRANSLATION INFORMATION:

Please Note:

All documents must be translated. Please have his/her documents translated. He/she can have a friend translate, that person should simply type out the translated text, then add at the bottom:

I certify that I am competent to translate from the (language of document) to English and that the above is a correct and true translation to the best of my knowledge and belief.

Signed: (Translators full name)

Date:______________________

Step Three: Information your lawyer will need for a K-1 or K-3 Visa for your spouse

2008-05-30T06:13:00.004+08:00

Your lawyer will need the following information in order to complete your forms for either a K-1 or a K-3 Visa for your fiancée or spouse:

FOR YOU:

Your father's full name, date of birth, city/country of birth, city/country of current residence

Your mother's full MAIDEN name, date of birth, city/country of birth, city/country of current residence

Have you ever been married? If so, they will need the following info on your ex:
- FULL MAIDEN NAME
- DATE OF BIRTH
- DATE/PLACE OF MARRIAGE
- DATE/PLACE OF TERMINATION OF MARRIAGE

Residence history for the last five years. Please include complete addresses as well as month/year that you moved in and month/year that you moved out.

Work history for the last five years. Please include the company name, complete addresses, job titles as well as month/year to month/year employed.

A new form (I-129F) was released on June 16, 2006 in compliance with IMBRA. Because of this, they will need you to answer the following questions:

Did you meet your fiancée or spouse through the services of an international marriage broker? If yes, please provide the name and address of the broker.

Have you ever been convicted by a court of law (criminal or civil) or court martialed by a military tribunal for any crime? If so, please briefly describe

FOR YOUR FIANCEE/SPOUSE:

Her father's full name, date of birth, city/country of birth, city/country of current residence

Her mother's full MAIDEN name, date of birth, city/country of birth, city/country of current residence

Has she ever been married? If so, they will need the following info on her ex:
- FULL (MAIDEN) NAME
- DATE OF BIRTH
- DATE/PLACE OF MARRIAGE
- DATE/PLACE OF TERMINATION OF MARRIAGE

His/her residence history for the last five years. Please include complete addresses as well as month/year that you moved in and month/year that he/she moved out.

His/her work history for the last five years. Please include the company name, complete addresses, job titles as well as month/year to month/year employed

Date of birth

City/country of birth

Warning! Documents May Need To Go To Different Consulates!

2008-05-23T07:56:00.003+08:00

Today I received my documents back from the Chinese Consulate in China. Since I live in Colorado, that is where I was told to send them. HOWEVER, I was divorced in Texas, so I now find out I must send my certified divorce decree, which was authenticated by the State of Texas Department of State to the Chinese Consulate in Houston. It makes perfect sense in hindsight, that you send the documents to be certified by the Chinese Consulate that has jurisdiction over the document's origins, but this was not clearly stated on the website. To find the consulate for your documents, be sure to visit http://houston.china-consulate.org/eng/vp/t53292.htm.

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Step Two: Affadavit of Single Status

2008-04-17T07:54:00.001+08:00

The applicant who will go to China for marriage registration shall apply for a single/non-marital status certificate.

How to apply

An Affidavit of Single Status signed before a notary public.
Certified by the clerk of Court of the County in which the document is commissioned if applicable. It may be omitted if the authority in item 3 will certify directly to the notary.
Certified by the Secretary of the State in which the document is executed.
Certified by the relevant Consulate General. You must apply to the correct Consulate General which holds consular jurisdiction over your area of residence.

You may come to the relevant Embassy or Consulate Generals for application, or entrust a representative to apply for you. No appointment is required.
Mailed applications are also acceptable. Make sure you read the Mail Application Instructions.

Documents to be included with applications:

One Authentication Application Form (G1) .
The above-mentioned Affidavit of Single Status, and a photocopy of the paper where the notary public and certification officer signs and stamps.

Fees and processing time

The authentication fee of $20 is payable by Money Order, Cashier's Check, Company Check or Cash.
Personal checks are not acceptable. Please make the check payable to Chinese Consulate in Chicago.
For mail service, an additional 5 dollars PER PACKAGE for handling will be charged. Make sure you read Mail Application Instructions.
The regular processing time is 5 working days. For express service, additional fees of $30 for 1 working day processing, or $20 for 2-3 working days processing will be charged.

Additional information

The divorced or the widowed shall have the divorce certificate or death certificate of the ex-spouse be certified/authenticated together with the Affidavit of Single Status.
The divorced whose ex-spouse is a Chinese citizen, and who hold the divorce decree executed by the US court, shall apply to the Chinese court for the acknowledgement of the divorce decree.
According to the Marriage Law of the People's Republic of China, the minimum marriageability age is 22 for men and 20 for women.

AFFIDAVIT OF SINGLE STATUS

On this date of _________________, I, (name of affiant) ,

residing at (street and number) (city) (state) (zip code)

BEING DULY SWORN DEPOSE AND SAY:

I was born on (date) at (city) (country)

I am a (country) citizen. My passport number is

I am a (current occupation) . I am employed by (company name and address)

I am currently single, have never been married (or was divorced/widowed on (date) and have never been remarried since that date).

Signature of the Affiant: _______________________________

Name in Print:________________________________________

(For the Notary Public)

Subscribed and sworn to before me by (name of affiant) on this____day of ________________.

Step One: The Engagement

2008-04-17T07:49:00.000+08:00

So getting engaged in China is a little different than in the West. For one, the lady picks the ring. Secondly, you go to a dinner, that you are paying for, with all her family members and ask her parents for permission to marry their daughter. Then the ring traditionally goes on the middle finger rather than what we call the ring finger in America.

Note: It is most auspicious to buy the ring in the morning, the morning of the engagement, and you will have to consult someone for an auspicious day, possibly a professional matchmaker or a fortune teller.

And that is the easy part! (HA!) then comes all the paperwork. I am currently in the process of doing this paperwork and will report on it in hopes to make a guide for others going through this process in the future.

A Chinese Girl's Heart: Tread Softly

2008-04-01T09:39:00.000+08:00

Stolen from http://laowaiink.blogspot.com/2008/04/chinese-girls-heart-tread-softy.html with permission.

Of course this title is misleading. There are tons of Chinese girls that are as much players as the guys and break hearts without a second thought. However, at least in my experience, most Chinese girls are very affectionate and are eager, sometimes too eager, to give their love to any man that is sweet and kind to them, especially when they are young.

For the majority of Chinese girls, there is no such thing as a casual relationship. A Chinese girl usually interprets any intimate behavior, such as gifts, romantic messages, sex, etc., as indications of long-term relationship potential, and the fact of the matter is that most Chinese girls are looking for a man to take care of them and they are quick to latch on to such possibilities. I don't mean this in a condescending or diminutive way; I'm just stating my observations after years of field research :-). Chinese girls are extremely affectionate and usually very loyal, because their man is providing them with stability and security. In return she gives her affection, her body, and her fidelity. Whether this is "love" is another discussion, but it is this "emotional transaction" that leads to so many broken hearts among Chinese girls.

Everyone has fanciful illusions of fairy tale love stories but of course reality is a harsh teacher. A man can throw out words and money and attention willy-nilly but a girl's affection is her precious possession, and when it is tossed aside after being used up, it can be devastating. Chinese girls are very naive about love and romance, in spite of it being largely absent from Chinese culture. Yet a heart is a heart, and love is an incredible treasure, and when it is placed in the hands of someone who recognizes just how special it is, that heart will sing. But the sad truth is, far too many hearts grow cold and dim as the beautiful dream withers and dies, leaving a life that is biologically satisfied but lacking any real purpose.

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